Turner Eulogy
My name is Terrie Thomas, I am thankful to God for the support of my Husband Parker, present; and daughter Stephanie present, with her husband Mark, they’ve travelled from Lawrenceville Georgia.
It is with mixed emotions of grief and blessing that I can speak with family and friends today as the youngest child and daughter, of my father, Arthella D. Turner Jr. Affectionately known as "Bo" to many.
Ecclesiastes 7:1 says a good name is better than precious appointment, and the day of death than the day of birth.
My father lived in flourished and what some would consider chaos. Take for instance his chosen profession of mechanics. I can hardly sit through the noise made during a tire change. But my father endured the sound of machines, machines at GM, machines in his auto shop, and machines and his towing and hauling business. Repairing and creating in often loud and turbulent environments.
Personally, I would like to think in the chaotic times, he was able to inspire and produce many good and commendable things for himself and others. Myself for example! Produced during a time of chaos, I would not have chose a different father, and without him my sister Lisa, and brother Arthella the 3rd.
His three children, self, included have their own unique personalities, however I see my fathers strength, resilience, and even chaos in all of us.
My brother Arthella the 3rd, his sons Aaron, and Robert (present), his wife Tosha and daughter Amber (whom both are unable to be here today because of a relocation and career change); however, before their move to Florida, took on the task of legitimizing our fathers residency at Friendship Village. This proved to be a long, daunting, and expensive task. However, their perseverance, were the first steps of caring for my father, after the loss of his wife Barbara, who as you all know, passed away eight months earlier, and is resting here right beside my father, may God bless her resting soul.
Soon after that Arthella, elicited the assistance of my sister Lisa and her husband Martin, present, whom reside in Columbus Ohio. My brother and sister were staunch advocates in obtaining information, closing accounts and dealing with countless business organizations necessary to affirm our father's care at Friendship Village. The three of us pooled our resources, financially and emotionally. Lisa and Arthella, physically going to banks, DMV, funeral home, nursing home, and numerous organizations, you name it they did it.
We supported one another to ensure his nursing and end-of-life care. Once Arthella and his family relocated to Florida, Lisa and Martin being the nearest took the lead on ensuring our fathers nursing care and continued hospice care.
We know our father was proud of the role each of us took in his care. However, both Lisa and I are extremely proud of the way our brother handled his portion like a seasoned professional.
At the time of his passing dad was not alone Lisa was the first responder.
Thanks to our ability to communicate, all arrangements were pre-planned by the three of us well in advance. This transparency gave us peace . Allowing the natural process of grieving to begin on 5th of October, shortly after 5:10 in the morning, and now the healing. For this, from the bottom of my soul I thank my sister and brother. Not only because I love them but because as everyone here knows either by personal experience or you've heard of families allowing grief to disengage a family bond.
Chaos overtime: The results of chaos caught up with dad. diabetes left the strong proud man without a vision the ability to swallow, completely dependent on his wife Barbara. Not only did dad battle diabetes he also fought cancer.
Humbling: During this what I call the humbling stage I was able to spend time with my father while Barbara was getting surgery. It was during this time he assured me of his relationship with Christ. And we were able to resolve issues that his chaos caused during my childhood. As he approached the subject I assured my dad I had forgiven him long ago. I never knew exactly what he was going to apologize for. But how could I not forgive my earthly father, yet expect my heavenly father to forgive me?
After the second surgery to remove the returned cancer his health diminish steadily. My dad, this once indestructible, (In my mind), independent man, now totally dependent on others, not just Barbara, but nurses, technicians, doctors, and assistants for his care. Though he did not show it he was in pain.
Little Dog: During his hospital, nursing home, and hospice care he enjoyed visitors the most. One such visitor. I snuck into see him was his grand dog Tiny. He has always loved dogs. We joked that he actually love to see Tiny more than me. He nickname Tiny little dog. Boy would the light up when he saw Tiny.
My dad taught me to work hard, be tenacious, despise chauvinism, and encouraged my love of the outdoors (camping, fishing, rock collecting). He also had influence on me being the animal lover I am today.
Now my sister Lisa has a few words, followed by my brother Arthella the 3rd. Then you will hear my voice for a few final words before turning the ceremony back over to Min. Ronnie Todd.
Life and Legacy:
What we hope his life and legacy teaches others:
1. Although life can be chaotic taking care of your health is loving yourself and your family. Take your medications, go to the doctor, see the dentist, exercise, and adopt a healthy lifestyle.
2. Create real lasting, loving, respecting relationships with your family
3. It's never too late to forgive others forgive, forgive yourself, focus on the positive, create new memories, and positive rituals.
Ecclesiastes 7:1 through Divine revelation to me means, that we don't always get it right in our youth, sometimes not even in our mid-life, but to die in the Lord delivers us from suffering and grief. The end of a chaotic voyage is better than the beginning. So a Christian's death is better than their birth, and life.
For my family, my siblings and my father's siblings, Uncle Lance Aunt Jane, Aunt Pam, Aunt Kim, I pray courage and strength that our frailty be forgiven, our sorrows redeemed, the wound of loss healed in sure knowledge that life, moves, forward, Amen.
We would like thank all those that traveled near and far to be with our family on this day, for the placing of Arthella D. Turner Jr’s ashes in this hollowed ground next to his wife Barbara.
I pray your travel mercies after minister Ronnie Todd releases us with further instructions. At this time I will now turn the ceremony back over to Min. Todd may the Lord usher him through the Committal service Amen.