Eulogy for Mom- Living Out Her Legacy!
September 17, 2020
I want to start by thanking you all for being here today to celebrate my Mom, Barbara Osman Stenton- Such a beautiful, kind, sweet woman in our lives.
To give you a better idea of who this special woman was, I thought I would mention a few specific memories I have of her from my childhood- Memories that truly encapsulate her beloved soul.
The first memory I would like to share dates back to a time when I was a young kid (around the age of 5 or 6). Unfortunately, I had a proclivity back then for sometimes having an upset stomach. I had just thrown up in bed during the late night hours and my sister, Sandra, went to get Mom right away for help. Now most moms would probably be really frustrated to have to be woken in the middle of the night clean up the mess from their sick child, but not Mom. I could tell she was sleepy as all get out that night, as she gradually managed to get me cleaned up and give me a bath. She then proceeded to clean all of my sheets and blankets in the washing machine and get clean bedding ready for me on the couch. Of course she did all of the right things you would expect a good Mom to do in this type of situation, but what I remember the most about that night was how she did these things with love. She never once looked frustrated or upset with what happened. She never once complained even though I could tell she was extremely tired. When I said how sorry I was that I got sick, she soothed me by telling me not to worry about it and that everything was going to be all right. That is the type of Mom she was- extremely selfless and always there to help others even if she herself was exhausted and not always feeling well. She was always willing to make sacrifices for her family.
The second memory I would like to share goes back to when I was in the third grade. Mom taught me an important life lesson then that I would never forget. At that time, I had developed a rather large group of friends and let’s say that my priorities weren't exactly where they should be. I started to focus more on hanging out with friends and being cool. My academics played second fiddle that year as I navigated a new exciting world of popularity. Mom definitely took notice and saw a difference in me during this period- She did not always like what she saw. The breaking point came when a teacher from my 3rd grade class, Mrs. Hodgedon called her up and explained how I was not completing all of my homework assignments and my grades were starting to slip. So Mom and I then had a strong heart to heart Mom to Daughter conversation, which resulted in me changing course.
Mom always emphasized the importance of doing the right things for God and she could tell I was starting to stray from that path. Leave it to Mom . . .I didn’t always want to hear what she had to say, but I had to admit, she was always right. One of the things I loved the most about her was that she was never afraid to call it as she saw it. She knew that being a great Mom was not about being best friends with your daughters, but rather about preparing them for a successful life filled with virtue and integrity. As time went by- with Mom’s help and wise guidance, popularity and being cool became less important to me, and being genuine, kind, diligent with my studies, and having the right kind of friends by my side became my top priorities. As always Mom was my guiding compass.
Finally, my third memory dates back to when I was in the 5th grade. I was generally a good kid who usually followed what my parents asked of me, but there is one Christmas season in particular where my mischievous side got the better of me. I had always joked around with my family for years saying that one day I would uncover the secret hidden location where Mom and Dad hid all of their Christmas gifts. So one December when I was in our basement looking for some supplies for a school project, I happened to notice that a certain storage closet door that usually remained tightly locked, was now left open as the lock dangled loosely from it’s latch. “Bingo!” I thought. I always wondered if this was Mom and Dad’s secret Santa’s workshop containing the hidden stash of gifts and my curiosity took over. At first, I planned on just spying a couple of small items to see if I was correct (After all, no one would ever know, I am not hurting anyone, what harm could there be?) . . . . but then curiosity eventually led to complete intrigue as I started delving further into the closet, ravaging more and more boxes. “Wow!”- I said as I looked at all of the items with Sandra’s name or my name printed neatly on each package. It was like a child’s personal Toys R’ Us within the secret confines of a closet. But as with all devious acts, this little kid’s secret venture into Christmas mayhem had come to an end . . . I was caught red handed. What was even worse is my Mom always knew when I was lying. No matter what lame excuses I tried to drum up, she always seemed to sniff out the truth. “Always be straight with people about all of the facts Jennie. Honesty is the best policy”, she always used to say. In a feeble last attempt to lower my impending punishment, I found myself blurting out to her, “But what harm did I do? It’s not even a big deal and no one got hurt. It doesn’t really matter that I saw all of the gifts ahead of time”. But Mom always had a wise answer for everything. She patiently explained to me that not only did I disobey Mom and Dad by continuing to look into boxes that I knew were forbidden, but that I took away the element of surprise. She continued further, mentioning how when we make a conscious decision, we need to think carefully about how our words and actions also affect other people around us. Mom had a way of explaining things so that we could understand the full repercussions of our actions and her lessons made powerful impacts on us- I like to think of them as permanent imprints upon our souls.
As you can imagine, that Christmas was different from all of the others that year. Sure, I liked all of my gifts and they were what any kid would want, but just as Mom had predicted, things just didn’t feel the same that holiday. The element of surprise was now vanquished, the joy not quite as bright, the smiles on my parents’ faces were still visible, but a hint of disappointment could still be detected. As I tore through the wrapping paper on each present, it was like another reminder needling me with guilt about what I had done and how some of the joy had been taken away from this beautiful family moment. Later that night, before going to bed I approached Mom. “I am so sorry that I ruined Christmas this year”, I told her with tears welling up in my eyes. “You didn’t ruin anything”, she said with her arms wrapped around me, “but you did learn a very important lesson and I can tell that this won’t ever happen again. Christmas is about celebrating Jesus’ birth, not about the gifts that we receive. The lesson that you learned from this is far more valuable than all of the presents in the world.” Of course, Mom was right as usual and it was an important memory that has remained clearly etched in my mind all of these years. Mom spoke genuinely from her heart and there was always truth in her words; qualities that I hope to always demonstrate with our son, Anthony.
There is a quote from the movie “The Crow” that states: “If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever”. Sandra, Dad, and I have been talking a lot about how we can keep Mom’s memory alive and continue to love her. The best tribute that we can provide for Mom is choosing to live our lives with the same lessons that she has taught us. Whether it is patiently cleaning up after a sick child, instilling the fundamental importance of being honorable and virtuous, being considerate of others’ feelings, or standing up for what you believe despite what others think . . . . we can choose to live out these same principles within our own daily lives. Mom chose to focus on inner beauty her whole life and that is what makes her stand out from all of the rest. For this we are better people for having known her. We are truly blessed that she has touched all of our lives with her infinite wisdom and grace.
Love,
Jennie
To give you a better idea of who this special woman was, I thought I would mention a few specific memories I have of her from my childhood- Memories that truly encapsulate her beloved soul.
The first memory I would like to share dates back to a time when I was a young kid (around the age of 5 or 6). Unfortunately, I had a proclivity back then for sometimes having an upset stomach. I had just thrown up in bed during the late night hours and my sister, Sandra, went to get Mom right away for help. Now most moms would probably be really frustrated to have to be woken in the middle of the night clean up the mess from their sick child, but not Mom. I could tell she was sleepy as all get out that night, as she gradually managed to get me cleaned up and give me a bath. She then proceeded to clean all of my sheets and blankets in the washing machine and get clean bedding ready for me on the couch. Of course she did all of the right things you would expect a good Mom to do in this type of situation, but what I remember the most about that night was how she did these things with love. She never once looked frustrated or upset with what happened. She never once complained even though I could tell she was extremely tired. When I said how sorry I was that I got sick, she soothed me by telling me not to worry about it and that everything was going to be all right. That is the type of Mom she was- extremely selfless and always there to help others even if she herself was exhausted and not always feeling well. She was always willing to make sacrifices for her family.
The second memory I would like to share goes back to when I was in the third grade. Mom taught me an important life lesson then that I would never forget. At that time, I had developed a rather large group of friends and let’s say that my priorities weren't exactly where they should be. I started to focus more on hanging out with friends and being cool. My academics played second fiddle that year as I navigated a new exciting world of popularity. Mom definitely took notice and saw a difference in me during this period- She did not always like what she saw. The breaking point came when a teacher from my 3rd grade class, Mrs. Hodgedon called her up and explained how I was not completing all of my homework assignments and my grades were starting to slip. So Mom and I then had a strong heart to heart Mom to Daughter conversation, which resulted in me changing course.
Mom always emphasized the importance of doing the right things for God and she could tell I was starting to stray from that path. Leave it to Mom . . .I didn’t always want to hear what she had to say, but I had to admit, she was always right. One of the things I loved the most about her was that she was never afraid to call it as she saw it. She knew that being a great Mom was not about being best friends with your daughters, but rather about preparing them for a successful life filled with virtue and integrity. As time went by- with Mom’s help and wise guidance, popularity and being cool became less important to me, and being genuine, kind, diligent with my studies, and having the right kind of friends by my side became my top priorities. As always Mom was my guiding compass.
Finally, my third memory dates back to when I was in the 5th grade. I was generally a good kid who usually followed what my parents asked of me, but there is one Christmas season in particular where my mischievous side got the better of me. I had always joked around with my family for years saying that one day I would uncover the secret hidden location where Mom and Dad hid all of their Christmas gifts. So one December when I was in our basement looking for some supplies for a school project, I happened to notice that a certain storage closet door that usually remained tightly locked, was now left open as the lock dangled loosely from it’s latch. “Bingo!” I thought. I always wondered if this was Mom and Dad’s secret Santa’s workshop containing the hidden stash of gifts and my curiosity took over. At first, I planned on just spying a couple of small items to see if I was correct (After all, no one would ever know, I am not hurting anyone, what harm could there be?) . . . . but then curiosity eventually led to complete intrigue as I started delving further into the closet, ravaging more and more boxes. “Wow!”- I said as I looked at all of the items with Sandra’s name or my name printed neatly on each package. It was like a child’s personal Toys R’ Us within the secret confines of a closet. But as with all devious acts, this little kid’s secret venture into Christmas mayhem had come to an end . . . I was caught red handed. What was even worse is my Mom always knew when I was lying. No matter what lame excuses I tried to drum up, she always seemed to sniff out the truth. “Always be straight with people about all of the facts Jennie. Honesty is the best policy”, she always used to say. In a feeble last attempt to lower my impending punishment, I found myself blurting out to her, “But what harm did I do? It’s not even a big deal and no one got hurt. It doesn’t really matter that I saw all of the gifts ahead of time”. But Mom always had a wise answer for everything. She patiently explained to me that not only did I disobey Mom and Dad by continuing to look into boxes that I knew were forbidden, but that I took away the element of surprise. She continued further, mentioning how when we make a conscious decision, we need to think carefully about how our words and actions also affect other people around us. Mom had a way of explaining things so that we could understand the full repercussions of our actions and her lessons made powerful impacts on us- I like to think of them as permanent imprints upon our souls.
As you can imagine, that Christmas was different from all of the others that year. Sure, I liked all of my gifts and they were what any kid would want, but just as Mom had predicted, things just didn’t feel the same that holiday. The element of surprise was now vanquished, the joy not quite as bright, the smiles on my parents’ faces were still visible, but a hint of disappointment could still be detected. As I tore through the wrapping paper on each present, it was like another reminder needling me with guilt about what I had done and how some of the joy had been taken away from this beautiful family moment. Later that night, before going to bed I approached Mom. “I am so sorry that I ruined Christmas this year”, I told her with tears welling up in my eyes. “You didn’t ruin anything”, she said with her arms wrapped around me, “but you did learn a very important lesson and I can tell that this won’t ever happen again. Christmas is about celebrating Jesus’ birth, not about the gifts that we receive. The lesson that you learned from this is far more valuable than all of the presents in the world.” Of course, Mom was right as usual and it was an important memory that has remained clearly etched in my mind all of these years. Mom spoke genuinely from her heart and there was always truth in her words; qualities that I hope to always demonstrate with our son, Anthony.
There is a quote from the movie “The Crow” that states: “If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever”. Sandra, Dad, and I have been talking a lot about how we can keep Mom’s memory alive and continue to love her. The best tribute that we can provide for Mom is choosing to live our lives with the same lessons that she has taught us. Whether it is patiently cleaning up after a sick child, instilling the fundamental importance of being honorable and virtuous, being considerate of others’ feelings, or standing up for what you believe despite what others think . . . . we can choose to live out these same principles within our own daily lives. Mom chose to focus on inner beauty her whole life and that is what makes her stand out from all of the rest. For this we are better people for having known her. We are truly blessed that she has touched all of our lives with her infinite wisdom and grace.
Love,
Jennie