Betty was an incredibly special person, as anyone who knew her would attest. She was smart, funny, and fun loving. She was adventurous, creative, compassionate, and passionate. She lived more in her 76 years than most. Betty was fiercely dedicated to her children and grandchildren, her brothers and her sister, her nieces, nephews and cousins, and everyone in her extended family - the Cains, the Spencers, the Donahoes, the Klaseks, the Lawlors and the DelRossos. She relished every member of her large extended family, and built meaningful relationships with each and every person. And she was so lucky to find her life partner, a fellow first grader from Little Flower Elementary school in Richmond Heights. Ned Bowdern was the love of her life.
Nobody had more friends than Betty Cain Banstetter! She kept every friend she ever made throughout the course of her life. Her dearest friend, Joan Vatterott, was by her side since grade school. Betty loved to tell people that she went to 14 different schools, one of the reasons she learned to make friends so easily. And she remained close to friends from grade schools, high schools, and college. Every job she ever had, she picked up new amazing friends. She loved working, and she was a natural salesperson like her father, but she played as hard as she worked. In the different offices at Sorkins, Klasek Letter, AdSell, and Cedar Creek, nobody was more fun than Betty. Anyone who worked with her over the years knew that work was more fun when she was there. She made sure there was always a funny story, a prank, and something to laugh about. And it never kept work from getting done.
And of course, we can’t forget the many friends Betty had at the 34 Club and Rosie’s. In earlier years she loved watching Cheers. She would say in the evening when the show came on that she was "going to Cheers" and loved the crazy group of people that sat around a bar, became friends, laughed together, cried together. When she met Ned, he introduced her to her very own Cheers, where she became royalty. So many of her dearest friends in these later years of her life were those who sat at the bar with her, had a drink, told a funny story, laughed, and played trivia. She loved Trivia night! Betty was always exercising her smart brain, answering obscure questions to beat the competition, just like she loved doing in the crossword puzzles every day and relished brain teasers like Sudoko.
Over the years, there were so many organizations and charities that Betty supported. She gave her money, her time and her heart to many groups to help the poor and needy, promote the arts, support her community, and support the church. When she still had a house full of five children, Betty volunteered at the Juvenile Court in Clayton. It broke her heart to see teenagers without stable homes or parents, moving her to become foster parent, taking teens into her family's home when they had nowhere else to turn.
Betty had a passion for travel, and loved nothing more than taking some exotic trip to another country with her friends and family members. She had such an adventurous spirit, and would get on a plane by herself and fly halfway around the world. Betty traveled to England, Ireland, Scotland, the Netherlands, France, China, Japan, Canada, Mexico, New Zealand, and Australia. She learned to ski for the first time in her fifties, joined the St. Louis Ski club, and went went on multiple trips to Utah and Colorado, where she happily spent time with her new ski friends and became the queen bunny on the green slope! She relished visiting her alma mater, Rosemont College, in Philadelphia. And she would visit all of her family members, strewn across the U.S. in Atlanta, Wisconsin, Nebraska, Ohio, Chicago, Maine, Texas, Phoenix, and North Carolina.
Betty's Catholic faith was a touchstone throughout her life. It couldn’t have been an accident that her home in the Central West End was across the street from the Archbishop’s residence and next door to her neighborhood church, the magnificent Cathedral Basilica of St. Louis. She loved attending mass in the city's most beautiful church, she loved saying her rosary, and she always prayed for everyone else in her life, and her beloved parents who had passed on.
Betty's legacy and impact is difficult to even contemplate and measure. Her five children, Lisa, Rob (Trebor), Diana, Joe, and Crissi were devoted to their mother, and the 12 grandchildren they gave Betty were her greatest joy in the later part of her life. Derek, Caitlin, Megan, Alexandra, Sam, Serena, Ethan, Hayden, Jacob, Daniel, Siena, and Caden will all miss their Gammy so very much. This loss is being felt by so many people, so very deeply. The heartbreak felt by so many at her passing is a testament to the extraordinary woman that she was, and how much she gave to everyone else. She made the people around her better for having known her, and left a positive impact everywhere she went. The world is a little less bright without Betty in it. But the legacy of her family and the impact she had on each of us will endure.
The family asks that in lieu of flowers you make a contribution in Betty's memory to one of the following charities or one of your choice.
Memorial gift announcement cards may be sent to:
4501 Lindell, #3H
St. Louis, MO 63108