March 22 is always a special day for us as we remember my Mom’s birthday. She would have been 80 today! We still feel her love every single day.

Today marks the third anniversary of our Mom’s passing. We all still talk about her all the time, and a day doesn’t go by when I don’t think about her for a few minutes. In my kids I see a family resemblance with her that only gets stronger, which I know would have made you so happy. Still love you so very much Mom!

Two years after she departed we still think about her every day. I see her legacy every time I look into the eyes of my kids - she loved her grandchildren so incredibly much. Love you Mom!

Betty truly was a "best friend." We traveled to England and France together, and she came to the hospital to be with me when my youngest son was in ICU. The memories are too numerous to list here, but I still keep wanting to pick up the hone so I can share something with her. She was definitely a treasure.

Betty was a fellow classmate at Rosemont College and I was delighted to see her at our reunions.  She will be greatly missed and lovingly remembered when we gather again.

Betty's unmatched spark and vivacity were remarkable even as a young woman and she brought happiness to every interaction. Betty took matters seriously but never failed to see the funny side of every circumstance and to poke us in the ribs with her wit. Betty paid careful attention during conversations, seeming to use her focus like a light, searching for a humorous and goodhearted way to make us all laugh no matter what. Every conversation with Betty was uplifting and fun, letting us in on our her joy of life.  

She was like the court jester who, during life's highs and lows, made situations playful, allowing our minds and hearts to open up to light and love. Her memory will always bring a smile to those of us privileged to have known her.

Betty was a wonderful person and so full of life. It was wonderful to be her friend during our years at Rosemont. God bless her and keep her close to him.

My friendship with Betty spanned over fifty years. Most memorable were our years at Rosemont College and summers in Wildwood, N.J. Betty was with me during that critical transition from childhood to adulthood. My friendship with her loving soul continues in memories of her love, loyalty, and easy laughter. Especially laughter. Betty could make any situation manageable; and she had a gift for bringing some much needed comic relief to life's challenges.
My heart joins the wake of sorrow she leaves after her sudden departure. Spencer and Patty (I knew you during Betty's APHS years), Kevin and Chris (I recall you as very young children) ,Lisa, Rob, Diana, Joe and Crissi (you each were the ultimate joy of a joy filled life), and Ned, her beloved partner (you came into her life at just the right time). I walk with all of you and your families on your grief journey.
I will forever miss her smile and the sound of her laugh. Those of us who were blessed to call her friend will continue telling "Betty" stories. And I believe she will be present in the shared laughter of those she loved so well. Until we meet again.

I only knew Betty for the last handful of years but reading all of these stories makes it as if I have known her much longer. I have no doubt in my mind that all of these memories truly describe who she was: a sincere, fun spirited woman who cared deeply for her family and her friends. Betty always took an interest in getting to know me and made me feel a part of the family from the start. She was indeed a story teller, and she had some good ones! I especially loved to hear about her travels to different parts of the world. One thing Betty taught me a couple of years ago was how to carve a turkey the right way. At every Thanksgiving I would remind her how she taught me and it will be a tradition to thank her every year for that. Betty was a special person that gave so much to those around her, including myself. I will always be grateful for the time I had with her. To Betty, I'm heart broken to know that I will never get more time with you. You treated me like one of your own and knew how to make me feel special. You were always sincere in your ways of getting to know me and I'm sad that we won't be able to continue that. Thank you for raising an absolutely amazing daughter (and her siblings too). It is a testament to your love and devotion to your family. I will always cherish the time we had together.

My heart goes out to all of you. I have so many warm memories of Betty and she has been in my thoughts these past days. She was a beautiful, smart, funny, and caring woman. Thoughts of her immediately conjure her great smile and exuberant positivity. Over the years, whenever I would see her and let her know what was new in my life or with my family, she would always exclaim, “That’s great! Good for you!” And she meant it. She was the biggest cheerleader for everyone’s success. I always felt better about myself just being around her. She touched so many people’s lives and made such an impact on those lucky enough to have known her. She was very loved and her brightness will be missed by many. Sending love to you all.

Betty always made me feel like a part of the family when I married her brother, Chris in 1985. The adjective of “fun” describes her best! I always looked forward to our family gatherings knowing that she was going to be present which meant a good time was guaranteed! She loved fierce, was a great listener, and her legacy will live on! I will always be grateful for her love! 

Sooo many stories make me laugh as I remember them today. When we worked during college summers at Wildwood, NJ, there was a hurricane one time. The streets were all flooded and pretty much abandoned. Betty said, Judy, we're going out! It was about 11PM when we always went out because that's when we finished our various waitress jobs. I said You're crazy! Do you know what it's like out there? She insisted it would be fun. We couldn't let down our fans at The Shamrock Club, our favorite bar.

Out we went, picking our way across streets knee-deep in water, laughing the whole time. We got to the club, barged through the door to see maybe 4 other people inside. Nonetheless, all heads turned toward us. Before we could open our mouths, the bartender said, "I know. Two quarter beers"!

Draft beers were 25 cents back then and I worked that whole summer on a doctored I.D. Betty had turned 21 in March but my birthday is in the middle of July. The Shamrock was also the place where every once in a while someone was dragged onto the stage to swallow a live goldfish before a cheering crowd. You got a free beer as a reward. Both Betty and I, at different times, were forced to endure that experience.

Once when she visited me for a Rosemont reunion (we are much older now) she said she didn't want to go home without having eaten a Philly Cheese Steak. I said you shall have one. Eschewing the suburban cheese steak emporiums nearby, I drove her to 9th St. in South Philly to Ginos, home of the much-heralded original cheese steak where cars line up for blocks to put their orders in. It was also the time when Gino himself hung a sign in his window declaring that you must order sandwiches in English. That sign made national news and the day Betty and I were there television cameras were also on site. We were interviewed and appeared on local TV news. I never saw us but many of my friends did.

That same day we took a "Duck" ride. Duck boats were clunky awkward amphibious vehicles that were a big tourist draw in Philadelphia. They are no longer around because there was a fatality in one a number of years ago. But Betty said oh yes, Judy, we have to take ride.

We bought our tickets and got on. We were given these wooden whistles, but instead of whistling, they made loud honking noises, (get it.... ducks?) Real Philadelphians hated them because this funny looking open-air vehicle would rattle down the streets and people walking, shopping, eating outside at cafe tables would get loudly honked at by a bunch of idiots on a duck boat, of which Betty and I were two. Oh, we loved it.

We rode up to a remote patch of dock along the Delaware River. The character conducting the tour (Philadelphia is known for its characters) was spouting off facts about the city that were not accurate (Betty and I snickering the whole time. We could have given a better tour.) We ended up in an industrial part of the riverside and are unceremoniously dumped off a wooden ramp into the muddy brown river. The vehicle, now a boat, takes one circle around the river and climbs back on land. This is how some tourists see my beautiful city. But Betty and I ate the whole thing up, laughing all the way.

So many memories have me laughing through my tears. She was so quick and witty. The last time she was here my husband mentioned during one conversation that I don't care for St. Augustine. Why, Betty wanted to know. I explained that St. Augustine is responsible for the Church's centuries-old attitude towards women, second-class citizens and all that. Joe added, "But that's the way it was back then." Quick as a whip, Betty replied, "Yeh, Judy. We're lucky they let us eat!"

OH, my dear Betty. I'm still laughing and crying. You were such a great part of my life. I will miss you forever.

Betty was my biggest fan when I was in the catering business. She hired me to cook for her parents 50th wedding anniversary party and always let me know what a great job I did! We met working together at the St Louis Small Business Monthly with Katie. We laughed more than we worked! We spent much of the day discussing where we were each going that night with our dates. 

I’m the guilty party that brought her down to the CWE and to my beloved 34 Club. That night, I introduced her to my pal Ned. Within 5 minutes she remembered him from Little Flower. And, as they say, the rest is history! 

Betty was one of the kindest people I have ever known. Always upbeat and a great listener. I will cherish the memories of Boop forever.

Shelly Kaner

I have another "Betty" story to tell you. When my youngest son went septic at age 19 and was on life support, Betty came to get me so I could go out with her for a sandwich, knowing I hadn't left the hospital for a week except to go home for a shower and for some clean clothes.
Betty shows up smiling and says, "Come on, Jan, we're going to get you out of here for just long enough to grab a bite to eat." That was my friend, always there when I needed a little support. She really was one in a million.

Life lesson learned from Betty: When you’re at a party and find that you’ve emptied your cocktail glass, hold that glass firmly on top of your head like a very conspicuous hat. Keep smiling. Keep chatting. It’s only a matter of time before someone inevitably refills that glass for you. Works. Every. Time. And can’t you just picture her mischievous grin waiting for that drink?

Dear Cousins,

I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. In remembering the times we had together as kids I know I was lucky was to be her niece. Aunt Betty wasn't like the other mommies I knew. In my mind I can still see her playing the guitar and telling us stories about growing up & going to college. Her words made me believe I could do things I had never even considered.

When she picked up the guitar it was magical. She didn't just sing songs we knew. She sang stories into those songs and the notes she played held us close for a moment before we'd burst outside to make our own worlds of magic and adventures.

Sneaking back into the adult room to eavesdrop was tricky. We'd get shooed out a few times before she'd let us in with a wink that impossibly hushed even my frantic antsy pants. Being allowed in the room was worth the pain of being still because then we heard the really good stories told over whiskey sours & manhattans.

I wish I could remember the tales Aunt Betty would tell. But at least I remember the feeling of being so loved & so completely understood. She gave that to me with a giant splash of acceptance every time she smiled my way.

I wish I had thanked her for that gift.

May your own memories give you strength as you grieve for your amazing mother.

Betty was one of a kind. She was one of those people who lit up a room when she entered and left a lasting impression on anyone she met. I clearly remember her coming into the St. Louis Small Business Monthly and sitting in the chair across from my desk. She had a powerful presence, and I knew this was a turning point for the business. When she left, she forgot her suede coat and her purse. When she walked in to retrieve them, we laughed. What I did know was how many hours, months and years we would laugh after that incident. And I truly never realized at that time the profound friendshp we would create.

Just a couple of memories that made us laugh:
* Betty called a photographer to attempt to get them to advertise. The person she called asked if she could call back later as they were in the middle of a shooting. Betty's response:  "Oh no. I will call the police." We laughed for an hour until Betty fell off her chair at which time, we laughed another hour." This story has been told and retold hundreds of times...most of the time by Betty. She loved to laugh at herself - a quality most of us need to work on. (maybe this is one of those had to be there stories).

*I cannot cook. I am terrible Nobody would ever eat my cooking - except Betty of course. She used to come over to my house at least once a week and eat my burnt turkey wings. She never complained - and always came back.

*After being gone to Russia for three weeks to get my daughter, Betty was the first person I called upon my return. I could not wait to call her. She was the one person I knew would completely share in my happiness...and she did.

There are so many more stories. Some could be told and better some not ever be told. We had fun. We had a bond. And we laughed...and laughed...and laughed.

I could write so much more but the tears are blurring the screen. I will never forget Betty (Boop) Banstetter. She will always be in my heart. She made my life better.

Love and kisses to Lisa, Trebor, Diana, Joe, Crissi and to her siblings and all other relatives. And of course, to dear Ned. She loved all of you very much When I first heard the news. Ned said we were all lucky to have had Betty in our orbit. I could not have said it better. I love you all.

Katie (Muchnick) Schneider

May 4, 2020

Maureen Robinson wrote a sympathy message

“I met Betty and family at the IW rosary group which gathered monthly for prayer and a social meal.. She was very proud of her children She was friendly , smart and fun. I loved joining her book club. She lived her philosophy, to whom much is given, much is expected. After her divorce,we lost contact. I regret that I did not pick up the phone to keep the friendship It takes work to keep a friend or you lose them. Prayers and Hugs, call or stop by anytime. Maureen Robinson”

Gammy, I miss you much and I’m sorry you can’t be with us today. I love you and miss you very much.-Hayden

When I first met Betty in St. Louis, it was as if I had always known her. She was bright, funny and fiercely loyal to family and friends. She was such a treasure!
The planet is not going to be the same without Betty, but I know she will forever be with her heavenly Father.

Dear Gammy,
  I am not great with words like your sons or daughters. But every memory I have of you will always be kept in a special place in my heart. Through different memories such as our first baseball game with the cardinals playing the pirates, I remember one line that you told me “If a ball comes our way make sure to jump up and protect me”. Then moving on to every single nfl Sunday when the rams would play, telling me words of motivation to always keep my spirits high.

   Now here I am with tears in my eyes scrolling through the wonderful text messages we sent back and forth. Then once when I heard the terrible and tragic news, I was so heartbroken, that this was the first time that I lost a loved one. But you weren’t just a loved, you were apart of my identity, of who I am now.

   Gammy, thankyou for being the most terrific grandma anyone could ask for. I miss and love you very much.

My Mom was a story teller. Every conversation we had was woven with colorful stories. Many were from her child and early adulthood. A funny anecdote about her Dad or something sweet about my Grandma. Lots of stories about the antics of her siblings. She loved to talk about her friends & and of funny things that Ned had said.

Her stories began with a short life history of the person she was talking ahout. There were times my mind wandered and I thought ‘Do I need to know all about the relationship and professional history of this random person I will never meet?’. I listened - I knew the telling brought her joy. The stories usually wound up with a clever conclusion. We would both laugh and then sometimes she would say ‘Why was I telling you this?’ Then she would remember the significance of the story and how it pertained to what we were talking about.

My Mom & I never once ran out of things to talk about. Our conversations travelled a meandering path without an end point, always leading to something else to discuss. We talked of family and friends and my work and her sewing business. Endless discussions about her grandkids, politics and current events. She was always on the pulse.

She loved to learn about people. She would meet someone and want to know where they grew up and worked and lived and so on. I think this is one reason why people connected so easily to her. She was truly interested. And she listened. And she would find something they had in common. 

My Mom had a way of making every person she talked to feel interesting, special and talented. I would get off the phone every time with a wonderful confidence booster.

I feel lucky that I inherited my Mother’s big heart. Her love was limitless. She appreciated every thing anyone did for her. She would thank me for doing the smallest things. And then I would thank her for being a great Mom & loving me even when I was a teenager. And we would laugh.

I can hear her laugh in my head so clearly. It was one of the many beautiful things about her.
There are so many things I learned from my Mom and use with my own children. On their birthdays each year I make them listen to their birth story, whether they like it or not! I can say my own birth story verbatim. I know that my Mom was the first person in the world to lay eyes on my face.

Mom, I will tell your stories and carry with my sisters and daughter your legacy of being a strong independent woman. I hope to never stop making you proud of me. To honor your memory and keep alive the traditions that meant so much to you.

I am happy I was able to see my your face after you left this earth and on her way to wherever our souls rest.

I’m not ready to say goodbye, so I will just say, ‘see you later alligator’ .

I used to always write at the end of my notes and letters to you as I will now:

Love
Your Favorite (though I know you won’t admit it but we both know it’s true)
Crissi

Mom, you were always in my corner, regardless of what I had going on in my life. Through my ups and downs, I could always count on you to be there for me when I needed you. You were the most positive and upbeat person I knew, and it helped that I could talk to you about anything. I always felt loved by you above everyone else. 

You had always wished that your 5 children would have as great of a relationship with each other, as you’ve had with your siblings. Unfortunately, though, that hasn’t always been the case. I hope it will give you peace to know that we are all talking now, and we plan on keeping communication open. We all had our own great relationship with you and having the best mom in the world will keep us connected forever. 

I want you to know that you will always be in my thoughts. I will love and miss you forever. 

Joe

Gammy,
I struggle to find the words to even begin to say goodbye or sum up our relationship in just a few paragraphs. The truth is, nothing would be fitting for a proper goodbye for you- a parade, a circus, etc. You filled up so much joy and light in the world that I do not know if anything could truly capture just how amazing you were.

You were the best grandmother I could ask for. I have been thinking so much these past few days about all our wonderful memories together. When I was younger, I remember I used to love having my picture taken (being a little too much inspired by the tv show America's Next Top Model). I loved going to Gammy's house because you would grab your little digital camera and take me all around the Central West End as I did the most ridiculous poses and jumped in fountains. Instead of wondering what in the world I was doing, you encouraged me more and more to keep going and made me feel like I was a supermodel. You were always so excited to see me again after so you could show me how you had all these pictures printed and framed.

You had a way of making me feel like a super model my whole life. From the hobbies I was interested in, my grades in school, the sports I participated in, the college I went to, you never missed an opportunity to tell me how absolutely amazed and proud you were of me. While others might say "do you really want to have that career" or "do you really want to go that far away for school" instead, you would say "Caitlin, that is just great!" (one of her go-to lines for some of you who may know). And you really did think it was just great. I used to love talking to you and calling you because it was the perfect pick-me-up when I was down or just a way to brighten your day. You had a way of making everyone who came into contact with you feel like a million bucks.

I am absolutely devastated and heart broken at your loss, Gammy. I long to talk to you so much, but now I see you in different ways. I see you in the Arizona sunsets, I see you in the bees pollinating flowers outside, and I see you in my dreams. Even though you aren't physically here, I know you are never far. I love you so much and I will spend the rest of my life carrying on your love and legacy.

Your granddaughter who was lucky to be born on the same day as you,
Caitlin Elizabeth

Mom, we had such a lovely long conversation just a few days before you left us. You were so excited to be making plans to visit us once things return to normal, hopefully in the fall, too see Daniel and Siena. We talked about family, the coronavirus, the Cardinals, the new big Ferris Wheel at Union Station, and so many other things. Even in this terrible difficult time you were always finding joy in everyday moments.

It’s so very hard to say goodbye because you had a vibrancy in life like no one else I have ever known and it is impossible to imagine being without you. The comfort comes from knowing that you’re part of me, my kids, my siblings, and so many others and that will never go away.

Thank you for all you’ve given me. Everything that’s good and true about me started with you. I’ll always love you and cherish these memories. I’m going to be thinking about you every day.

Rob

Mom, even as my heart breaks I find myself laughing and smiling through the tears. As those of us who loved you so much connect, we inevitably share stories of our times with you which always end with smiles, and joy, laughter and love. Even though we must grieve virtually right now, there is a growing sense of connection being sparked between all of the people you cared so much about. In your absence, we fill the space with the rich tapestry of stories that you wove throughout your remarkable life and we wrap ourselves in the comfort of those memories. 

The last time we talked, we revisited crazy and funny memories of that precious time when you and I worked together at Klasek Letter, and we laughed so hard tears ran down my face. You told me, you loved talking to me because you knew you would always be laughing by the end of the call. As if it were me who created the laughter. And I hope you remember what I said..."Mom, you know I got this from you, right?" You responded to me in surprise, as if you were the one who should be honored to be compared to me. But the truth is, I am who I am because of you Mom. I feel so proud when someone tells me I look like you. I smile when I hear myself say something that you would have said. My siblings will tease me when I do something that is so "Mom". You were the most amazing mother, and you made me the person I am. If make just a fraction of the impact in this world that you did I will have lived a rich and full life.

My heart seizes when I think about living without you. I will miss you, so very much. But I will carry part of you with me to the end and do my best to pass along the amazing legacy you gave the five of us that were lucky enough to be your children.

You loving and devoted daughter,
Lisa