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A Bittersweet Celebration…

May 25
On a poignant May late evening (14.05.24), a small group of friends had gathered with Caleb’s family in a cozy room, their hearts heavy with both sorrow and love. It was his 41st birthday, a bittersweet occasion marked by the knowledge that his battle with brain cancer was nearing its end.
As I sat beside Caleb, his frail form in the wheelchair, I couldn’t help but reflect on the preciousness of life and the resilience of the human spirit.
That room soaked with whispered prayers, strangely juxtaposed with the scent of a lovely meal, and the soft strains of the keyboard played by Caleb’s only daughter Janey of a beloved hymn of Caleb, “Fairest Lord Jesus,” filled the room. Our voices trembled, yet the melody carried us beyond the confines of that small space. The lyrics spoke of beauty, grace, and the promise of eternity. As we sang, I imagined the day when all sickness will be gone, all tears wiped from every eye and Caleb will get to dance freely, unencumbered by illness, surrounded by light.
The pastor, a gentle soul with kind eyes, stepped forward. His words were a beacon of hope, drawing from the Gospel of John. He recounted the miracle of the five loaves and two fishes—a story of Christ enabled possibility born from human impossibility. Caleb’s life, too, had been a testament every passing day to resilience and unexpected blessings. The pastor encouraged us to find strength in our shared faith nudging us cherish every moment we had left with Caleb.
The cake, held in front of Caleb by a family friend has no candles lit; instead, we traced our fingers imagining the flickering flames. Caleb has lost sight in both his eyes, but perhaps imaginative contemplation of the wishes he dared not speak aloud. A few who had gathered shared a few morsels of cream, for him to savor a few bites, as if it held the essence of our friendship.
We sat in a circle, tasting delicious homemade food. Caleb’s appetite is diminished, but his ever loving mother kindly fed him porridge, though he may not have savoured the flavors. Around him, some talked about ordinary things—the weather, childhood memories, and dreams for the future. In those moments, the weight of impending loss lifted, and we were simply friends and family breaking bread together.
The warm glow from the street lights that peeked through the window, reminded me it was time for me to leave. I prayed, for Caleb’s peace, for strength, for fortitude, and I was overwhelmed in gratitude—for the privilege of being part of his journey so far. As I walked back home I drew STRENGTH from Psalm 121.
Steadfast Look: “I lift up my eyes to the hills.” When life feels overwhelming, lift your gaze heavenward. Fix your eyes on God, knowing that He is our unwavering source of strength. Just as the hills stand firm, so is His steadfast love towards us.
Trustworthy Helper: “From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD.” Our help doesn’t come from human strength alone; it comes from the all-powerful Creator of heaven and earth. Trust in His unwavering assistance, for He is faithful.
Rock-Solid Foundation: “He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber.” God’s presence keeps us steady, like an unshakable foundation. Even when life’s ground seems uncertain, He holds us firm.
Ever-Watchful Guardian: “Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.” Just as God watches over Israel, He guards us with unwavering love and care. His vigilance never wavers; He watches over us day and night.
Never-Failing Shade: “The LORD is your keeper; the LORD is your shade on your right hand.” Imagine the shade of a protective tree on a scorching day. God shields us from life’s trials, providing comfort and relief.
Graceful Shelter: “The sun shall not strike you by day.” God’s grace shields us from harm even in challenging times. Just as the sun’s rays can be harsh, His grace covers us, preserving us from harm.
Tireless Protector: “Nor the moon by night.” His care extends beyond daylight. Even in the darkness of life’s struggles, God remains our tireless protector. We are never alone.
Hope Eternal: “The LORD will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore.” Our hope rests in His eternal promise. From every beginning to every end, He is with us—now and forevermore.
In that room, on Caleb’s 41st birthday, we celebrated life even as we stared at its fragility face to face. His loved ones will remember his laughter, the songs he loved, and the shared meals, some of which he cooked, his attention to details, his stubborn love—the moments that transcended illness and connected us heart to heart. Caleb’s legacy was being written, albeit the last few pages, would live on, not only in our memories but also in the way we cherished every precious one.
May we always remember to trust in the Lord Jesus, for He is our strength, refuge, and eternal hope.
Hope never dies on this side of Eternity…
Sequel on Why God Why: https://wp.me/p20iSS-6o

He was the first grandchild to be born in the family and the first to leave too

May 27
We are a family of nine grandchildren to our paternal grand parents. One of our relatives nicknamed usas “navaratnalu”. Out of the nine, Caleb anna is the first grand child and I am the eighth one. Growing up, we used to meet at our grandma’s house during summer, may be once at the time of Christmas. I don’t have sufficient memory of him during my early childhood but I always remember that I used to get excited whenever I heard that Darshan chinnana was coming with his family as I lovedto meet caleb anna.

My first memory of him goes back to when I was 7-8 years. It was a Sunday, and I heard that his family came to Kakinada church. I remember trying to peek for him through the rows where young boys used to sit and saw him closing his eyes for prayer as he folded his legs backwards, sitting on them. As a teenager I developed a close relationship with Caleb anna whom later I used to call bujjanna. I used to talk to him every week on phone. Even though he was working at that time, he made  to talk to me and never ignored me.

He was the first one who helped me to make my resume and the first one who bought me a dress out of all my cousins. I was the first cousin who slept over at his house when he moved to Toli Chowki after his marriage, where they stayed for sometime. I still remember that day when he cooked chicken curry & rasam. .

I remember a time when I was returning home after visiting them, he came with me to the railway station all the way from Bandlaguda to Secunderabad, got me into the train, bought me snack, made sure I was comfortable and waited until the train took off. He showed the same care and concern even while he was lying on the hospital bed after his first surgery as he inquired, “Chellamma, did you eat?”

His little Janey was very dear and precious to him. He wanted her to grow up holy. He wanted to immigrate to Canada so that Jane could avoid reading Hindu Stories in Telugu textbooks at school (during our conversations in 2022).

I want to make a note of some of the interesting things about Caleb anna that I can’t forget :

  • He learned to drive car all by himself as he watched the city bus drivers changing gears in city bus every time he travelled;
  • He liked to cut his onions very small when making a curry which he loved to do by himself and very rarely entrusted it to others only if he knew that they’d do a similar job like him.
  • He also loved to eat small red prawns (sea prawns).
  • He was a match maker too (tried to find boys to my sister & me when it was time for us to get married)
  • He loved bikes very much, if my memory is not wrong, he used to have Royal Enfield
  • He loved cracking jokes sometimes (There was a time when we had conversation about tongues then he told me, “Chellamma, I only have two tongues, English & Telugu, don’t have other tongues”.)
During our last phone call in 2023, during which we spoke for an hour. His conversation went on like this, “Chellamma, you called me at the right time just before I sleep during the day as my nights are sleepless because of the pain. After Janey goes back to school, I try to pick up the toys from the floor slowly. I can’t look at screen for a long time, can’t sit for a long time, one of my eyes was closed due to the growth of the tumor in the head, can’t hear properly with one of the ears and the feet are swollen making it hard to walk. Your vadina told me to speak with faith, so I say, “God will heal me”. I can only listen to the bible and can’t read it any more. All my promises, I read them from a large print everyday.”

I praise God for everything He allowed in his life, especially the sickness because I believe that it gave him enough time to prepare to be transformed into the likeness of our saviour. As Hebrews 5:8 says about Jesus, “Though He were a son, yet learned He obedience by the things which he suffered”. So, I saw that obedience in anna. He loved the people that defamed him too which I personally know. He was tried and tested to be made into a perfect amalgam of love, forgiveness, forbearance, generosity. As I recollected my memory to write this story, tears trickled down my cheeks. I will not be able to meet him here, I can only wait to meet him yonder.

I thank the Father for He is the Omnipotent God and His will is the best. I’m also grateful to Him for giving him a loving wife, who remained faithful to her vows, “…in sickness and in health ‘till death do us part” and wonderful parents and brother who toiled day and night, taking good care of him. I conclude my story by committing Vadina, Janey, Chinnana, Aunty, Josh & family into His comforting arms.

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