Dearest Mother

Here we are sitting together, be it on horseback, the old international truck, the tractor, the hay wagon, the snow sleigh, the old ford pick up... those are just a small part of the good memories I have. 

I have never forgotten your amazing flower gardens, they will always be with me. I'll never forget hearing you play the piano and singing after we had all gone to bed. I remember learning to play to be like you. I'll never forget the holidays we shared. 

I remember your face, feel your kisses. I feel all of your dreams inside me.  Your strength, your determinations, your passions, and yes your stubbornness of which I proudly wear. 

The last time I saw you, we were outside on the patio in Santa Anna California. You were like a child looking at me curiously and talking, you were cold and I wanted to hold you. 

I've always been with you, with Tom, with Mike and with Jack.  Standing behind you and beside you.

I can still hear you singing today.

I pray that you know we all love you and look forward to being together again. 

Thank you for bringing us along with your dreams and passions.

Your loving daughter,  Donna.

My mother is a never ending song in my heart of comfort, happiness and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune.

There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart.

She was suffering from her illness and was unable to care for herself.

She wanted to die.

It was impossible to help care for her living so far away, so I loaded her into the car, packed a bag for her and brought her to my home.

She needed far more care than I could provide. I was also struggling with my own health and needed to find a full-time professional skilled nursing facility for mom.

We located a nursing/rehab facility about 30 miles away. Mom was initially on hospice which ended after two years.

We visited once or twice a week for four years, and I got to ask her all the things I hadn't dared ask for my entire life.

I asked her about her childhood and family. I asked her about the details of when she met my father and why they had such a troubled marriage.

Even though time has taken her mind and she can no longer answer questions, I'm so appreciative of the time we spent together.

She is once again ready to go, and this time, I'm ready to say goodbye and let her go.

Rest in peace my beloved mother.