Ohhh Lord!!!! Where do I start?
It is truely sad when loved ones die. Even for those who trust they will spend eternity with God, the thought of passing from this life to the next can come with some trepidation. Yes!! trepidation. Since after your demise, I have been making this statement, "it is a bitter pill to chew, you can't understand until it happens to you" Yeahh I feel the sorrow that comes with death.
Pa De, your demise to me, on a daily basis, seems to be a dream in which I need to wake up. However as day goes by, it is becoming a reality. Eventhough this fantasy, is kind of difficult to accept and believe but God is and will see me through as I have confidence on this very fact that, your peaceful and gentle soul is resting in the bossom of the All Sufficient Father. .
Pa De, when I think of how God used you to take care of us while we were growing after the demise of our father, my heart bleeds, when I remember your good works to the community, my heart bleeds, when I think of your peaceful nature, your gentle smile, my heart bleeds, my heart bleeds when I reflects on our phone conversations for the past 9years, how you ask about the kids, myself and my husband with passion, my heart bleed when I remember the smile and thanks you gave me in our conversation immediately you went to the hospital, how I told you, even though I am not present physically to take care of you, I will take care of you in the hospital through video call ( your smile remains with me), my heart bleeds when I knew of the fact that, you hide your pain because you never want us to be scared even in the hospital, u still hide your pain because you don't want Delphine to be scared or worry. My heart bleed when I think of mami whom you have left alone now at home. Pa De, all your good works makes me cry the more, as we are going to miss you and all that you do.
Pa De, I procure my joy from the fact that, you requested to have a phone conversation with me at the moment of your transition. Yes Pa, I was called on the phone and you spoke with me. In our conversation, I head your words of transition, I head your prayer, I heard your resistance, I head your declarations. My brother....little did I know your words were based on the things you were seeing on the other side. Time and again I think and say how I wish I knew death was about to snatched life out of from you, I would have done things diferrently, I would have prayed differently, by the grace God, I would have called you back to life differently but frankly, there is nothing I could have done when it is God's will. I want to believe that, you were seeing death coming, and u called me through faith thinking that it can be reverted, yes it can be reverted but when God have decided to call you to rest, there is nothing mortal man can do my big brother. Yes Pa De I know you are resting in God's kingdom as you kept declaring to me on phone, " Betty I shall not die but live in the name of Jesus and I kept shouting Amen amen. Yes my beloved brother, I believe the life you live now is eternal life in Christ Jesus where you will see death no more.
Pa De, I derived my joy, wen I head that, about 10 minutes before you passed, you turn your face to the left and gave and electric smile to you sister and you turn your face to the right and gave another smile which means you died smiling something that most people pray about ie to die smiling.
Pa De, though I mourn, though I weep, however, I rejoice because I know you are rejoicing in heaven as in one if the things you said to me during your transition was that, I should send Christmas money that Christmas is around which means you were seeing celebration all around you and the Angels in white you saw plus the smile. Though I weep, I rejoice...
May your Soul Rest in Perfect Peace Amen