Dear Aunty Toyin as I usually call you,
I decided to be conversational because its hard for me to capture in words how I feel. It has taken 12 days to do this… Yes I am counting!
We talk about all sorts of things and manage to argue about them all at the same time! Our conversation never ends it just continues and goes in all directions. Remember when we were rushing to catch that flight to New York that we eventually missed drama! We eventually got there for the weekend and we bought our first designer bag together!! We just kept shopping till it was time to pay for our first designer bag! As the money was leaving our account, we kept laughing and encouraging each other that we deserve it!
Then the conversation of strange shapes of sausage pillows we found in our beds……We sent each other pictures, just saw it on my phone! That was hilarious! How do those men sleep like that?
Hello Toyin, your people have come again oh! How can someone decide that ……. Then you will say, “A re” mo ti so fun e pe, ko mo iwa fun oniwa!” (meaning know and accept the distinct character of people). If I continue lamenting you will say,” I have told you, just leave them!”
Then we have the “awon senior!” moments oh that was the highlight of any shenanigans by the seniors… we know them lol! Our way of making sense of unexplainable ideas from those we have to obey! Ha that one cracks us up all the time.
Then there is the everyday “Aunty Toyin” phrase in our house. Anything and everything is aunty Toyin oh. From those that miss the bus that need a ride, to those that have decided that when they run away from home and are moving in with you. And those having panic attacks that only aunty Toyin can bring them out of. I said Toyin, they said they are moving in with you so they will do no chores, you laughed and said they will be disappointed that all the chores will be become theirs.
Madam Funmi, your mum is looking for a small bottle to put water, I said please leave me out of my mother’s bottle drama! What small bottle? You brought so manty bottles and they were never the right size. We cracked up over this for years. Then there was the I want to sit by the toilet episode….. O lord.
By the way mummy said “Mo wa very devastated” Toyin came last month!
Then remember that our family drama decades ago. We felt so sorry for Lekan because anytime my dad saw him, he will say Ehen, Lekan sho get mi , ki lo feel, ki la ma se……..questions no answer
Funlayo, your mum has come to take a shower. Toyin, what is wrong with the shower in my house? You said you did not know. She just showed up with the girls to take a shower…..then we will laugh……..
Madam Funmi, my mum does not need the sketchers, she just wants to go and give it to someone in naija. Toyin what is your own? If mummy wants sketchers, mummy gets sketchers, I go to the shop buy the sketchers and bring it and you lament all the way! This is what she does all the time! Buys things for other people.
Ha so many sit down meals, board games played together, fellowship, travels (remember the trip to Brugge and on our way back, they wanted to open only our case or something! Toyin you displayed oh! All of us were quiet looking on with utter amazement at Ashford International. Chai Toyin only you could have taken them on. (Lekan reminded me recently!)
Going on some random apple picking, Toyin we are dudu what are picking apples in kent for? Ki lo se Sainsburys apple?
Funlayo you need Kent honey, the pollen this year …… Toyin jo ma pa mi there is anti-histamine in boots I am not going to look for Kent honey!
I can’t wash plates in your sink Toyin, this your washing up liquid is not foaming, madam Funmi this is organic, no chemicals, etc etc . E ma binu oh awa non organic lol…..
Babesssssss Funlayo is here she said you are going to exercise! You are laughing at our attempt to shed the weight because it becomes 20 minutes of chatting outside followed by the actual 20 minutes walking or I just turn back and I am okay.
Toyin, when you set your mind on something, I am wasting my time but I still waste the time oh because me, I have to say my own!! Then you will say, Funlayo have you finished? So ti se tan?
Then the croissants ….. Babeeessss come downstairs, they have brought you croissant. E yin ni kan loro yin ye! I am not involved.
By the way, I need to renew …. And that thing you have been saying to Lekan and I …. mmhhhh “ eyin mejeji, o jo to ba ti wa gbe yin..” You and Lekan will know. Well I will have to sort it now my dear!
Then lock down was so funny. We were our own bubble. Toyin is like, what are they doing with toilet roll, Shelves are empty “A re!” This people, I just don’t understand! They are mad! They are just mad!!! O lord I can’t stop laughing.
I am in my kitchen I look out the window you are there. I am driving down the hill you are there. In the town center you are picking things up for me. So we had his membership card debate and I refused to pay as I said it was a scam…then you added me on. Anyway sha, Toyin, I kuku paid it on Sunday when I got there on Sunday and they said it was expiring. I said chai, Toyin will be laughing at me and say so they have scammed you abi. Toyin, you are everywhere in my life!
Our last conversations, included the banking system is not working well oh, when you transfer it does not go etc, I said maybe its your bank, my own bank has no such issues (turned out to be a lie, they showed me pepper in Lagos). Mummys birthday plans, photo shoot, event planner, awon seniors, awon to ni ideas….. Lord I miss you dearly.
Toyin your faith is unquestionable and unshakable. I am not permitted to doubt oh! There is nothing impossible with God. But Toyin … Madam Funmi you have come again! Listen to this preaching, Pray,there is this scripture…..
You believed for me even when I doubted. You ignored my unbelief and forged on. Without a doubt God brought you into my life because I needed to learn empathy, respect of people’s choices I do not agree with, support others when I am thinking otherwise and protect those we care about despite and in spite of what they do. That was who you were. You stay when others go, even if you felt let down by them too. You were a mum to my kids.
Parenting was effortless for us because aunty Toyin sorted it out. Whatever aunty Toyin said was okay. I often played catch up with the girls because you guys had finished your plan then I will just go along.
I don’t know life in London without you, 20th February 2023, I got the unique opportunity to tell you how I felt. I danced and sang “emi ni kan lo ye”. Words are not enough but it is becoming clear that aunty Toyin is not here. I have to be strong, I have to understand that God loves you more, I have to accept that you are in a better place. My confidence is a bit shaken and though it be a bit cloudy now, I know the sun will shine again because you radiate light. You are in a better place, smiling down and urging us to keep moving positively in the right direction. Ensuring we fulfil the call of God on our life.
My sister, my friend, my prayer warrior, my encourager, my challenger, my banter partner. Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to share a few decades with Toyin. It’s been a privilege and an honour to be given a rare gift of God like you in my life.
I miss you, miss you, miss you. Can’t remember the last time I cried so much! Toyin you know I don’t cry oh. I cry for my personal loss but I rejoice at heavens gain. Sleep well with the saints. I can never forget you. You are with me today as you were yesterday and always. I have a richer life because of you.
Your Sister
"Madam Funmi" (Another joke we share!)