GULSHAN CHOPRA's life story, (1986 - 2016)

DESTINY...TWO HARDEST TRIALS IN ONE LIFE

July 18, 2017

Ahh Destiny....Two hardest trial in one life. I lost my father when I was just 2 years old and then I needed my father the most. Somehow, I alongwith my widow mother and younger brother struggle throughout a long period. And now, I lost my son when I am 57 years old and needed him the most. Destiny cannot be so corrupt because parents should not outlive their children.
Holding a son’s funeral was the most difficult thing I have ever done. MUKESH CHOPRA

GULSHAN'S PRECIOUS MEMORIES

July 18, 2017

LOSS OF A YOUNG SON....LIFELONG HEARTACHE

July 16, 2017

We are living in broken world. We see broken relationships , broken people and broken lives. There’s never going to come a time when we have got it altogether.

But an unexpected loss of a precious son was a sudden and a violent disturbance of body. I am likely encountering this paralyzing reaction in this process of grief. It is a numbness, a realization that there is something missing from my life now. There is also a great fear as to who could be taken next from my life. I still don’t know whats going on. That’s the state I am in. I always feel as if I am living in a bad dream. I am still not able to get out of it. Everything in my life is happening in slow motion because this is a response to a very untimely young death !!

GULSHAN CHOPRA...IMMEASURABLE LOSS

July 16, 2017

I live in the island of deepest grief. Grief does not ever expire. Grieving the loss of a son is a process, it begins on the day our child passes and ends the day parents join him. Grief is like living two lives ; one is where you pretend everything is alright and the other is where your heart silently screams in pain. Grief is a sign of being human. Grief is the cost of loving someone so much. No amount of justice can bring my son back or replace the emptiness I feel. Death is not the greatest loss , the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. If we survive after losing a precious son, we can survive anything.

I miss so many qualities and facets of my loving son GULSHAN I have lost that each will become an opportunity to experience grief. What I have lost is;

An ideal character ever dreamed of

An encourager

An entertainer

A source of delight

One who always cheered me

A best friend

A pride and joy.

I have lost so much.
I ask God if he can return all back.

Can any amount of justice bring my son back ?

Who will fill these gapping holes within me ?

Losing my son has literally ripped me apart on the inside and left me unsure of my own identity !! All my beliefs and trust changed.

GULSHAN CHOPRA....FOREVER MISSED

July 16, 2017

No date is etched as deeply on my heart as Gulshan’s death date.

I never truly forget the day my son died. It may be the date of no significant to someone, but it was the day that world as I knew and understood it, ceased to exist. None of us imagined to say good-bye so soon, so suddenly, so tragically to the ones whom we love the most.

During the past year, I cried loud but that didn’t help, in fact that made me feel Guilty like I was seeking a release I didn’t deserve because I had spent a year unable to FIX it—to bring Gulshan back. Surely I deserve all of the pain I felt during the past year. The constant pain of separation and grief.

Truth is, during the past year I was struggling with the core guilt of surviving that unfortunate incident that I had never witnessed. But I believe is that A Father should not outlive A Son even if the Son die apart from him. Except sometimes it happens and it is terrible not to be able to change places.

Gulshan, my dear son I love you so much ; I miss you so much. Yours loving father Mukesh Chopra

GULSHAN CHOPRA...GONE TOO SOON

July 16, 2017

My Dear GULSHAN,

Just about a year ago, my whole world changed in an instant when I heard about your sudden untimely death. One of the branches of my family tree irrevocably gone, never to return.

I have spent a lot of time this past year searching past events for a moment in which I might have made a difference in the ultimate outcome ; a word or two that may have helped you to understand just how loved you were, how important you were to me, to the whole family, to your friends. But I have arrived at no firm conclusions, except for the fact to blame myself for not providing you the help or support needed at that time to keep you alive. The GUILT will always remain there.

I am sorry GULSHAN, I am sorry for you, for myself and for everyone who cared so deeply about you. You were an amazing intelligent person with an uncommon intellectual curiosity. You were someone who have inspired, helped and supported so many on so many different levels.

Everyday, this is so hard…grieving your untimely death is hardest work ever. I am still struggling to find the New normal, to not constantly feel that hugh hole in my heart.

I keep working away at this whole grief process, and one thing I know : I am so grateful that you are my son GULSHAN and that I had the honour and pleasure of raising you and having you be a part of my life for almost 30 years.You brought a beautiful light to my life that I will always treasure.

Dear GULSHAN, I just really miss you ; your kindness; your love; your timely support; your evergreen ticklings; your brightness; your positive body-languageand above all your beautiful smile…everything was so special and unique.

Your life was a blessing, dear GULSHAN, and your precious memories are a treasure.

I wish you so much love and light always.

Much Love and Hugs to you.

Mukesh chopra

Yours loving father.

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