I have been in Knoxville for the past several days to attend my niece’s graduation from UT. If i’m not mistaken, Barry came from Knoxville. Really pretty small city, approachable, and alive with music, art, and the university. Wanted to tell Barry that I made it here—and say that I could imagine living in Knoxville; except for the humidity it feels welcoming.
Take care. /judith

Spiritual feelings tonight. Thursday, May 09,, 2019. Read my remembered day. So powerful tonight. Feeling your presence ever so strong. Off to bed now, and hopefully its a night of sleep with dreams of YOU. I love you forever, forever, and forever, and miss you for ever, ever, and forever !

Our first song we endured and one that stole our both hearts, Barbara Streisand, the song we would later make our life foundation...."The Way We Were". Fortunately, she would be in our first movie we saw together, and held hands, "A Star is Born".

As I dream of our together life, I realize today will be eight years since I last actually physically saw you (December 29, 2010 - 2023hrs). I see you every day, and definitely in my dreams if they are dreams. I hope they are NOT dreams. You are everything I dreamed about, and still, do, and you made me complete. Thank you for such love you gave. It sweeps me on the magic carpet toward YOU!

CHRISTMAS 2018.
GRIEF:
I had My own notion of grief
I thought it was a sad time
That followed the death of someone you love.
And you had to push through it
To get to the other side.
But, I'm learning there is no other side.
There is no pushing through,
But rather,
There is absorption,
Adjustment,
Acceptance,
And grief is not something that you complete
But rather endure.
Grief is not a task to finish,
And move on
But an element of yourself.
An element of your being
A new way of seeing
A new definition of self.

Hello Barry, sorry I am late, but even I was overseas I remembered your birthday, as you are in my heart every day. Will always remember your laughter and the love you had for Donald and friends. Donald is doing ok but will never be whole without you. Can you blame him? You remain our #1 hero.. Love you forever my friend.

Happy 80th Barry!
Thinking of you and all the fun Donald and I had with you and Bob on our trips. Such great memories we'll always treasure.
Love, Pam

My thoughts and prayers go out to you Donald as you celebrate Barry’s 80th Birthday. He truly was a gentle giant who is loved by so many, especially you. His kindness for others was beyond compare. His goofy laugh was infectious and it always made me enjoy whatever we were doing, that much more.
He was taken from us much too soon but hopefully all of the wonderful memories you have of him will carry you until you finally re-connect with him in the afterlife.
Love,
Joe

Happy birthday Barry
in heaven, forever hea!ed
Our Donald still loves and misses you
But your presence is often revealed.

Happy Heavenly Birthday, dear Barry. It breaks my heart to see how much your precious Donald misses you. You were a wonderful man, who lives on forever in the hearts of those who loved you---who love you still.... God bless you, Barry, and your beloved Donald and Harlen.

Happy Birthday Ken. Heard so many great stories from Donald.

Wishing my dear friend, whose memory will remain with me forever, a warm and sincere wish on this day, on what would have been his 80th birthday.
I pray for Barry's continuing place close to God especially during this Christmas season and for health, peace and happiness to Donald & Harlan now and in 2019!
With Warmest wishes,
Irwin

Thinking of you today, dear Barry, on our shared day, when you would have turned 80. You were a gift to our world. Rest in peace, my friend. Continue to look after Donald, whose love for you lives on.

Barry,
One of my own fears has always been that after I die, I might be forgotten. Then you realize that when you are loved, you never ever leave people’s hearts. Such is the case for all of us who survive you.
I will be in Piedmont and Berkeley for the holidays - the area our old haunts. Do you remember the ice cream shop with all the unusual flavors? Dinners at your house? And the conversations about children?
...like yesterday.
Love u

I hope the following helps YOU with the lost of a love one:
GRIEF:
I had my own notion of grief
I thought it was a sad time
That followed the death of someone you love
And you had to push through it
To get to the other side.
But I'm learning there is no other side.
There is no pushing through
But rather,
There is absorption
Adjustment
Acceptance
And grief is not something that you complete.
But rather you endure.
Grief is not a task to finish,
And move on,
But an element of yourself -
An alternation of your being
A new way of seeing
A new definition of self.

DECEMBER 12, 2018........
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY CAPTAIN!
Missing u on your special day. Wanted to send you a birthday message of how much I love you and miss you.
I will love you forever, forever, and forever.
My heart is so broken. Love Donald, your sport.
Your card from Birthday Alarm: (not sure how to create a link?)
https://birthdayalarm.com/sendcard/mycards/edit?ccid=1&csid=55625296&card_id=1268
"Dreaming of a life of yesterday". My taste in my mouth is of your love. We fell in love so naturally, and I don't believe it was mysterious, but meant to be. We had looked for each other for so long, missing each other my seconds several times, and then a magical time occurred, and our lives finally intersected. Unknown it would be short even though we enjoyed our journey together for 42 years. But it seems like only no more than a few. Life and time are so difficult to understand, especially TIME.
Every moment I spent with you was a treasure. Never wanted to close my eyes, because I did not want to miss you for even a moment. I wanted to stay in the moment forever, never sleeping. Now, my dream is gone, and when you were here, I never missed a smile, a hug, and the desire for it never ends. I hope it was not just a dream. Now, I seldom close my eyes or sleep because I want to make sure I am alive, believing it happen.

ANNIVERSARY DECEMBER 10 2018
You were always such an optimist. Always positive, and showing your feelings and emotions who you loved. I was so lucky to have you love me so deeply. You shared your love so many ways, but on our anniversaries you made sure I would know the extent of your love. You would plan a wonderful day to share together - the best gift but always were more. A beautiful day guarantee, flowers, not one card, but sometimes up to five, and then there was dinner, a very special moment in our life. But some years included a surprise breakfast at the HOTEL BEL-AIR.........WOW is still the experiences we enjoyed. There is nothing that can top those experiences. Okay, maybe the supersonic Air France flight to Pairs, France. We did live a magical life together because of YOU! Forever, Donald Trisdale

As the California wildfires rage this year, it brings back so many horrific saddened memories and trauma we experienced on October 28, 1996, when similar fires destroyed our house and another 483 houses in Laguna Beach. I had forgotten why I had not used more pictures of your youth and our life, but everything was destroyed on that day. Our lives spared but life pictures gone. My heart aches for so many today, and so many lives lost this time. We along with everyone else survived our fate with the firestorm. We were blessed.

Woke this morning and there you were in my soul and mind. Another Thanksgiving, and the wonderful memories we shared over the years. It has not been easy, but my thoughts and reflections keep me together. I miss you so much, but ever so grateful we had each other as long as we did. I love you so and never ending missing YOU!

HELLO,
Just dropped by to tell you how much I love you, and miss you as I do each day. Harlen came by and stayed a few days to celebrate his 38th birthday. As usual, we were quiet, but we enjoyed our time together. He looks at your picture a lot, and I often wonder what would he ask me if he could. I find myself telling him," I know, we miss him. It is not the same as it was when Barry was here." I think he understands. He hugs me a lot more these days than in past, and most likely thinks what is going to happen when I am gone. As we talked many times, and never came up with a resolution that satisfied us both, I still don't have the answer. I am still hoping we will figure this out before I come. He celebrated his 38th B.D. We had a nice dinner and I shared some funny memories of all three of us. Hope you heard me. Harlen left today, headed back to Los Angeles, and I feel so alone without either of you, but I know you are near. I love you, and so miss you. Watch over him as I know you do each day. I know when you are here.Forever, I love you.

This eight year of missing you continues to be difficult, and especially on this day - Valentine's Day, February 14, 2018. We used this day to share a moment in time that would become a lifetime. Some years we shared dinner at home, others in a special place, in an LA restaurant or fly to San Francisco to dine in a restaurant.This year like the last seven, I will spend this day without your physical presence and alone. However,, I will have you in my heart, mind, and soul, and your spiritual love. I know you are near. I love and miss you do much.

Just to let you know and everyone else, I wore your CLEMSON T-SHIRT for the first half the night Alabama and Clemson played 2017. CLEMSON was the defending champion. Of course, as you know, I had to wear my Alabama shirt the second half, and Bama won to move on to the championship game with Georgia. JoAnn and I tried to yell for Clemson, but you know how I am about BAMA. I could see you with the Clemson band, and I pointed out to myself, there is the man I love so much.

Love you always and remember our times together. Give Donald the strength to continue his brave journey in 2018. You will be forever in my heart.

THINKING of YOU and the many times we shared Christmas Eve across the world. Tonight, Harlen and I are home reflecting those times and your outstanding smiling face. We miss you so much; As you know, I still not sure what I am doing without YOU.

A bit belated but still no less sincere, I am remembering my dear friend Barry on his birthday. Our previous celebrations come to mind, particularly when visiting with his wonderful parents and brother Denny in Donalson, Tennessee at the outset of the Christmas holiday time. Eating at Uncle Bud's Catfish restaurant on Old Lebanon Road (not sure if it's still there?) was a treat for this Yankee from New York City! I can feel Barry smiling down at me as he, laughingly, told me to take the flashlight to find my way to the restaurant's "privy/head" in the back of Uncle Bud's. Continue to rest in peace my friend. :-)

Dear Barry,

I know that you are in Heaven smiling down on your loved ones, especially Donald and Harlan. I know they miss you terribly everyday. Sending a hug to you in Heaven....

I don't really feel you have passed on to another life... I have so many memories of our years together. Because our work was so challenging and difficult, we both to pulled hard on the oars. And by doing so, we formed a bond AND a friendship borne of trust and mutual respect. And not surprisingly, a deep affection. You were one super individual. I just wish you still here. PS. You looked so handsome in your TR7.  xo/Judith

I learned that Barry loved to make martinis and boy were they strong!
He probably learned from Heaven that I dumped mine in the kitchen sink when he wasn't looking. He was so sweet.

Thinking of you today and wishing you a Happy Birthday Barry.

Love Pam and Bob

Brrrr. It's snowing here!

Thinking of you with love dear Barry on this day we share....Happy Birthday!

"I love you Barry and you are in my thoughts today and always. You will never be forgotten. Always in my heart..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DARLING
79.........

Barry is remembered on this day for his birth - December 12, 1938.

Your parents and family were joyous on this day. They were blessed with an angel. So many milestones experienced and gifts given during your life. Fortunately for me, a miracle occurred two days before your birthday, I met the angel of my life.Your birth I soon realized would be the greatest gift I would ever receive "HALLELUJAH !".

I will celebrate this gift each day of my life and always remember this date.

To reflect my love for you on this day, I honor your special day with special Christmas songs you enjoyed for so many years and I celebrate so many wonderful memories of your birthday by reading special written love cards, and messages so elaborately were written.

The only gift I can honor you with is the memories you gave of yourself. This gift is greater than anything I could ever purchase, create, or engineer.

I shall take a trip down Memory Lane today like I often find myself doing to celebrate, reflect, and enjoy the gifts created by your life, and enjoy all the memories of your life, and our life.

Each day is a treasure chest of your love - REMEMBERING WE ARE STILL ONE!

DECEMBER 1O, 2017
Our anniversary; yes, it would be our 45th. It was like yesterday and yet the journey over the highway has been so long and difficult since you left. But, I love this day and will always because it was the day we gave birth to our never-ending love for each other. You were/are the greatest person I ever met in my life. Of course, you know that, and I knew I was loved like no one else. You knew how to give, and you gave it all. I know that, and will never, ever, forget that love. I remember it each day of my life, not on this day only. How could I ever forget. You etched it in my soul. I love YOU!

Thinking of you and thankful for the days we spent together.

Love, Pam and Bob

ON 23 NOVEMBER 2017:
THANKSGIVING DAY

I see the joy and pain of so many people our age. I see why so many are so lucky to have each other at this stage of life. We were not that fortunate like so many. Won't deny it's not tough being without YOU because it is, and the hardest part of living life is to continue my journey alone. Days are empty no matter my life involvements, and what is so difficult nothing can, nor anyone do anything to resolve the emptiness except the ending. We had the one-lifetime love and there is no cure for this type of pain. One of us had to face it alone to endure.

This year has been another horrific roller coaster ride. Now, I understand why I had to learn to ride the roller coasters with you and Harlen. Tried some major life changes, and unfortunately, all ended with a crash. However, at least I tried

The year has almost passed again, another age year, and my eyes awaken to the thought it is soon to be the seventh year (December 29, 2010) without you. Still, I think this is a very long nightmare. Could it be? Wish we could both awake and it would be over. Unless some unexpected event occurs, guess this nightmare will continue. No matter the outcome, my love for you is never ending, nor the hurt of NOT having YOU in the PRESENT.

Went to a memorial service in San Diego for a flight attendant a few days ago. A lovely celebration and beautiful day to be out to sea. I see again why we enjoyed the sea and its solitude. Of course, I could see you on your Navy ships in uniform hustling about doing drills. The Navy needs you for sure this year like I need YOU every year.

As her remains were given back to the earth, the sun glowed slightly above the water line with fiery reds, oranges, and blue colors. Just at the moment, her ashes touched the sparkling ocean water, a rushing wave hit the boat, and above me were awesome heavenly flatten, silky clouds that zig-zag across the sky. I could sense your whereabouts, and felt you; I totally forgot I was on the boat and could not hear any sounds. The flatten whiten fluffy cushion see-through clouds were like angels who had spread their wings visibly above us. I know you gave us that moment.

I felt you had taken Ann's hand to ensure all is well. I became so spellbound not realizing I did not hear anyone even losing my whereabouts. I gazed into the sky and then back into the deep dark crystal sparkling ocean water feeling I was the only one on the boat floating, rocking, and watching the every growing wave sweep a life away into another time. Hence, I see how this nightmare I endure each day will finally end for all of us

All of sudden I heard cries of my name and finally realizing someone was yelling my name from the other end of the boat. I turned, and the moment I had felt was swept away into the breeze - gone. But, the moment was somewhat captured with a friendly photograph and then I felt some arms wrapping around me with an enduring hug. Then the tears gushed like a casting waterfall as I turned back into the wind looking beyond the horizon and listening to the rhythmic ribbon sound and a smell of the boat's engine. My eyes glazed with a shield of swelling tears as the waves swept you both away.

I love you so and you know how much I miss YOU!

4 JULY 2017

Hey Sweetie,
Just thinking of all the times we shared with the fireworks, and how scared our babies were. We would put them in the car and turn on the radio, and drive them around for two or three hours. We would stop have enjoy the lights, with the radio on so loud, so they would not hear the fireworks sound. We would laugh what we had to do to keep them from freaking out. Harlen thought we were crazy. Maybe we were, but we had fun. Oh, how I miss you. Why is it this way?
I love you,
Donald

Remembering what a great person, great husband, great son, great best friend, great manager, and great loyal individual with super being traits as human integrity, honesty, and fairness. I miss you so much everyday, but today on father's day as well.. You were also legally my father. We did whatever we needed to do, to not let anyone or anything interfere with our lives. I love YOU, MISS YOU....HAPPY FATHER'S DAY.
Donald

Thinking of you! Playing some songs that remind me of you and me!
I love you, but you know that. Wow, I am tired not being with you.

FEBURARY 14, 2017
Always my Valentine; more than ever. One of my students gave me one of her roses from her boyfriend today. I took it as a sign that you sent it to me. I tried to give it back to her, but she insisted I keep it, smiling at me. I did. I knew it was from you. Thank you my wonderful eternal love. I love you so much. Your sport, Donald

You are always in my heart, and near each day. Its so difficult to realize its been six years since I last touched your hand, and kissed your cheek. You are such a wonderful loving angel. Dec. 29, 2016.

Barry was a wonderful person,with a kind heart and loving soul.His presence is sorely missed.

 Bill

Dear Barry,
Such fond memories of you and Donald. I love the way you loved one another.
Miss you today and always!

Barry, you are always remembered by those who loved you and those whose lives you touched. Rest in peace.

Approaching another Christmas (2016) the fifth one without you. I cannot express in words how I miss you. You gave me happiness, peace, and most of all you're enduring and everlasting LOVE. A truly Christmas gift forever. I love u Barry and miss u so. Life is just not right without you.

Oh Barry, I just sat here at the computer reading all the wonderful tributes posted by dear friends & family and listening to all the special songs and tears are running down my face as I think about how fortunate I am to have had you in my life.
 I loved & admired you ever since we first met..
Donald, I'm crying for you too. I know the pain in your heart is overwhelming. I wish I had the right words to help. Try to thrive on all the many years of love & happiness that you & Barry had together and know that the two of you will someday be together again.

Dear Barry,

Where has this year 2016 gone? I know you are in a comfortable place and from your perch, you watch over Donald... would it be so sweet if you were here on your SPECIAL day. But alas, no. Yet you remain in the hearts of so many...sending warm thoughts to Don.  Lots of love, Judith

Thinking of you on this, our shared special day. Happy Birthday, dear Barry. I know you are smiling down on me and especially on your dear Donald. You are always in my heart.

Dec 12, 2016--Happy Birthday...My prayers will be answer in time. This can never be the end, but only the beginning. We had so many wonderful friends and who miss you. You made such a difference in their lives, and change mine forever. Thank God, he sent us you! I thank you GOD each day for Barry.

Just me....Today, our birth together, our anniversary. Of course and as always thinking of you. Having a harder time understanding where time is going and/or gone. I love your visits. I love you. Donald

P.S. I am up so late, the computer recorded Dec. 11th because it is 1:45am on the 11th. Our anniversary was 10 Dec. Guess I better go to bed.

THINKING of YOU as everyday. Worked some on the website. It helps when I am so lonely. I love you so much! You are so missed, I find myself non functional at times. But thinking of the great life we had brings be back; I just miss that, and it is what it is. Forever, Donald