I spent today really anxious knowing that tomorrow was the day, but I know that is just because I am avoiding feeling sad. I finally got myself to stop pushing it away and here I am writing to you. I wish I could say this was easy to do, but finding the words has been really hard. But I know it is good I am doing it.
Tomorrow I am going to try to celebrate your birthday a bit, celebrate you. I haven't been good about doing that, actual celebrating. But tomorrow will be different. Tomorrow I will be honoring your memory through the hanging of a massive painting that was rediscovered a few weeks ago while Loren and I were cleaning out that Guthrie storage unit we have been ignoring for years (sorry, ha). About half way through we found a painting almost as tall as me, and it was a painting of you. It's beautiful. I never knew this painting existed, and neither did Lily. We couldn't bring it home that day because it was too big to fit in Loren's SUV, so they are going out with a truck tonight. And tomorrow, for your birthday, it will be hung as the most important piece in the home Lily and I share. I wish you were here to see it, you deserve that.
Writing this was hard, but I'm not anxious anymore. I should write to you more often. I'm sorry I don't. Nevertheless, happy early birthday :)
Love you,
Wes