Mei was born in Seremban in 1949. Mum's family were very
close and she was brought up with grandparents, cousins, uncles and aunts very
much part of her daily life. This gave her an incredibly strong sense of family
unity, which stayed with her throughout her life. From our father she developed
her love of books and learning and like him was a walking encyclopaedia. For
me, who came along some 13 years later, she was my beloved older sister who I
both adored and have looked up to my entire life. She has taught me so much and
was akin to a second mother to me.
To a great extent, we were both brought up as only children
- such was the age gap between us. Mei left home for university in
Auckland when I was just 5. By the time she had completed both her Bachelor and
Master degrees and was on her PhD journey we had decamped to the
UK, missing her return to Malaysia where she took up a post as a
Social Science lecturer at the University Sains Malaysia in Penang. I remember
summer holidays spent with her, hanging out at the university campus whilst she
worked and have many happy memories of her friends and colleagues known
affectionately as 'The Penang Gang'
In 1981, she married Mark after a courtship that had lasted
some 20 years! He has been her devoted, ardent and loyal supporter throughout
their lives together. Her soul mate - and she so clearly his. They built a
wonderful life together - and should have had many more happy years to look
forward to. Mark... the wonderful memories will always remain.
As Mei's career progressed, her interest in development
issues eventually led her to become one of the principal co-founders of IMU in
1992. At the time, Malaysia had around 3,500 doctors for the entire population.
Mei wanted to give more access and opportunity to more Malaysians to be able to
have a medical education beyond the government quotas and with the limitations
of expensive overseas training. She guided the IMC from its infancy
working tirelessly nurturing and developing the people whom she worked with to
make IMU the success it is today. Her passion and obsession was for
IMU to have its own hospital, and we grieve all the more that she will not be
present when this hospital that she worked so tirelessly towards, is opened in
2022.
Most important to Mei was her son Wui Leng. From the day he
was born, the bond was exceptionally strong and I have been particularly
impressed in how he has looked out for her over the last 2.5 years of her
illness. Taking care of all the important background work - researching
treatments, arranging appointments, sourcing medicine, supplements and finally
hospital equipment so her wish to return home could be fulfilled. All these
things unseen and easily overlooked by others. I have watched him comfort and
soothe her. Massaging and stroking her limbs as she lay helpless in bed, trying
to ease her discomfort and all this whilst working too.
When Wui Leng introduced Zhou to the family, Mei, quickly
welcomed her and integrated her into the family and over a short time I know
Zhou came to mean a lot to Mei. When I was allowed out of quarantine to visit
her briefly in hospital, she told me how she thought Zhou was very good for Wui
Leng and how kind and caring Zhou had been with her - all this during my so
short visit and Mei so short of breath. In her last years she was blessed with
a devoted daughter as well as a wonderful son.
So, where and how do I begin to describe my sister Mei Ling
when there are so many words that would fit the bill.
Exciting, adventurous, mischievous, far sighted,
positive, charismatic, persuasive, visionary, brave, bold, inclusive - it
did not matter who you were, she could make you feel special and
treasured.
We, each one of us will recognise in her all of these
descriptions and yet, I could still go on.
Loving, generous, kind, thoughtful, joyous, loyal, a true
and committed partner, parent, friend, sister, mentor
and workmate. I could tell you a story about Mei Ling for each of these
descriptions, but we would be here all evening. So, I will just share one or
two with you.
Sadly, both our parents were not alive to witness the 3
honorary doctorates or the ASME Gold Award for Medical Education that Mei was
to receive for her outstanding contribution to medical education during her
career. Norman and I represented them on all these occasions. As we
proudly sat at the graduation ceremony awarding her the first of her honorary
doctorates at Strathclyde University Institute of Pharmacy, I was amused to
hear how Prof Brian Furman described how they had been "Mei Ling-ed"!
Their intension had been to accept a handful of IMC students but found
themselves accepting more than 100 such was her boldness, charm and persuasive
powers. I know more than one of us will recognise having been Mei Ling-ed in
the past.
Her sense of adventure led her, along with family and
friends to all corners of the globe and her sense of adventure did not
necessarily have to involve her taking part. Wui Leng found himself scaling
Sydney Harbour Bridge, I found myself sampling bats in Luang Prabang. We had to
try everything. 'Must Try' was one of her memorable phrases.
As her fantastic PA Pearly puts it ... the world is
less happening without her. Heaven is going to be a busy place with her
now in it and we should take comfort in that
Above all, we must give thanks for the life of a woman I am
so proud to be able to call my sister and for her life that gave so much.
To quote her own words addressed to undergraduates:
“When you are young, you feel you have everything ahead of you.
I felt the same. It’s natural. One never thinks it is going to end and even in
a fleeting moment, if you think it may, it seems unreal. But life is fragile.
So, whatever good you can do, do not delay it. The chance may not come up
again. And if you need a perspective, whatever agitates you or upsets you, when
you reflect on the big issue, the impermanence of life, all these things become
small and inconsequential. And in the context of your work in healthcare,
please remember, it is a privilege to serve. Service and to be useful and
relevant can be a legacy.”
Little did we know then that those words would be prophetic.
Even in her very last days she confided to me when we were alone, that she had
not given enough. I asked her how she could possibly think that, and I am still
baffled. Yet I know it's also rings true. Hers was a life cut short when she
still had so much more to give and had wanted to give.
The Hengs have lost the very heart of their family. The
Youngs, Blacks, Chongs, Lims and Vongs that make up Mei's history and family
have lost their brightest star and IMU a leader in the truest sense of the
word. We are all united in our shared grief at our loss, but we must also
remember that everyone of us grieving today has brought love and meaning to
Mei's life and has helped her achieve all that she has done.