Hey Dad, I have so many questions, my main question kills me everyday. Were me, mom & Ash not worth the stay? I beat myself up & i throw myself around, hoping one day ill be found. Since you left, ive been a mess. I feel like im failing at everything i do. I try my best to fight the good fight but sometimes i lose my might. Since mom & Ash & Chris moved away its been hard to "throw some dirt on it". Sometimes i wish i could just hear you say i love you & im proud of you! I hope that your pain is forever gone. My only regrets were not being closer to you like Ash was, & for not hugging you and saying bye on October, 7th 2012. I still cry a lot. I still have this emptiness. I try my best to stay positive for Chris & for Mom, but i just feel as though im not strong enough to depend on anymore. I have helped Chris the best that i could in the last 4 years. I am still helping them as much as i can from 800-1000 miles away. Im just Lost & i cant seem to find my way! I think ive written enough for today. I Love You More Than Anything & I Miss You Deeply. Ill See you when I See You. I hope The Heavens Above are treating you the way you'd hoped! -Michelle Tremaine Wanamaker <3