Happy Birthday, Little Fella. Love, Dad
April 2, 2022
You would have been two this week. In the hospital, we told you about the party we’d have for your second birthday. We kept our promise.
Your sister made you an amazing birthday crown in school. Your mama and gramma baked a beautiful cake you would have loved to smash. Your mom made pins with your smiling face on them that we wore. We had a picnic at the botanical gardens we used to take you to. The hummingbirds danced above us while your sister played soccer with the purple ball you used to chase. We took thank you gifts to the hospital where you were born. Your mama and I remembered how happy we were to walk out of there with you two years ago. We went to the park where you used to swing and run around with your sister. We gave bubbles to little kids there and set up colorful pinwheels, so they could marvel at them like you used to. We went home and decorated with Toy Story streamers. We had pizza and cake. Emerson blew out your candles for you. We watched Bluey and the movie we made for your memorial. I got you a card with Buzz and Woody on it, but I don’t know where to send it.
People from around the world sent you so many loving messages. They mean so much to your mom and I. It breaks our hearts when people are afraid to talk about you with us because they think it’s painful, or they don’t know what to say, or they think we should move on. They don’t understand that talking about you keeps you close to us by keeping your memory strong. And that we want people to know how magical you were. I’m sorry you didn’t get to meet many of the wonderful people who care about you and your family. I’m sorry many of them didn’t get to meet wonderful you. We owe thank yous to all of them, but it’s hard to sit down and write them. The right words don’t come, and even drafting short notes is a sad confirmation that you’re gone.
We miss you so much. If you look down and see us crying all the time, it’s because our world is so empty without you.
How foolish I was to think I was helping you walk that day, when it was you who was lifting us up every day. Without you, I can barely stand. I wish I had half your strength. I love you, Miles. Happy birthday, Little Fella.
Your sister made you an amazing birthday crown in school. Your mama and gramma baked a beautiful cake you would have loved to smash. Your mom made pins with your smiling face on them that we wore. We had a picnic at the botanical gardens we used to take you to. The hummingbirds danced above us while your sister played soccer with the purple ball you used to chase. We took thank you gifts to the hospital where you were born. Your mama and I remembered how happy we were to walk out of there with you two years ago. We went to the park where you used to swing and run around with your sister. We gave bubbles to little kids there and set up colorful pinwheels, so they could marvel at them like you used to. We went home and decorated with Toy Story streamers. We had pizza and cake. Emerson blew out your candles for you. We watched Bluey and the movie we made for your memorial. I got you a card with Buzz and Woody on it, but I don’t know where to send it.
People from around the world sent you so many loving messages. They mean so much to your mom and I. It breaks our hearts when people are afraid to talk about you with us because they think it’s painful, or they don’t know what to say, or they think we should move on. They don’t understand that talking about you keeps you close to us by keeping your memory strong. And that we want people to know how magical you were. I’m sorry you didn’t get to meet many of the wonderful people who care about you and your family. I’m sorry many of them didn’t get to meet wonderful you. We owe thank yous to all of them, but it’s hard to sit down and write them. The right words don’t come, and even drafting short notes is a sad confirmation that you’re gone.
We miss you so much. If you look down and see us crying all the time, it’s because our world is so empty without you.
How foolish I was to think I was helping you walk that day, when it was you who was lifting us up every day. Without you, I can barely stand. I wish I had half your strength. I love you, Miles. Happy birthday, Little Fella.