ForeverMissed
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Tributes
June 8, 2017
June 8, 2017
Pam was 10 years older than me and from the time I was about 8 and she was 18 she became my role model. I admired her at Skaneateles Lake, and listened as she told about her experiences living in the French house at Middlebury College. My mom always spoke fondly of her "flower girl", a role she played in my parents' wedding in 1941 when she was 3. 
I remember when she returned from Stanford University with a handsome boyfriend, Gordon. Everything about her seemed a life for a young girl to aspire to - study, learning a language, traveling, graduate school.
Later when I returned from a term abroad in Switzerland, I found most of my friends and relatives asked "how was it?" but then nothing more. So I drove down to New Haven where Gordon was a young professor and they were raising their two young sons. I remember how calm and organized her approach was to childraising. She believed children should be given two good choices so that from a young age, they would learn how to decide rather than be told what to do.
Both Gordon and Pam listened to my experIences and asked great questions. They made me feel empowered and appreciative of my experience.
After finishing my MAT, I began to work n Washington, DC. I traveled by bus to Pittsburgh to attend a cross cultural conference and they opened their home to me for a warm holiday.
A few years later, Joe and I were married and were working on an idea to start a term abroad program. Pam invited us to come for a visit and share the details with them. With Gordon's vast experience with social systems, he asked great questions and both helped us focus and create a program that would turn into a top term abroad that would last 20 years and involve so many kids.
Kevin Lewis stopped by in Northfield on his way to his freshman year at Dartmouth and won our Kevin's heart by giving him a shoebox full of baseball cards that he had outgrown. We went over the next few years to several of Kevin's gym meets at the college. 
Pam and I exchanged letters over the year. She, like my mom, always wrote a lovely letter. Even when she was dealing with her own cancer, she always sprinkled her letters with loving memories of my parents and hers with kind and warm observations.
When my Kevin needed help driving to a conference in SW Pennsylvania, they invited me to spend the week with them so I got to experience their lovely place at Grandview. We took part in an exercise class for residents, walked by the canal, went to meals in the lovely dining hall, went swimming, attended a Pittsburgh Pirates game, toured Carnegie Mellon and shared long talks about books and politics and family on the balcony.
My love and appreciation for Pam and Gordon know no bounds. She filled my life with an example that I could aspire to with grace, love and generosity. And at the funeral in March, I read some of the tributes her students made on her retirement and got a wonderful sense of just how many young scholars and students far from home found their voices and inspiration from Pam and Gordon.
A family treasure for sure.

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