6 months on
Six months ago, I woke up really early and really really sad. It was a Sunday morning and I was so so sad. I hadn't heard from home so as had become my daily ritual, I called Mummy to ask how my Nana was. She lied. She said you were fine. But I was still so sad. I was crying and I didn't know why. My heart was so heavy and uncomfortable. Until the person they'd sent to deliver the most painful message I've ever received came to me. He was already crying. He never met you Nana, but he was crying. I didn't/couldn't/can't/won't believe it.I cried like a baby! My eyes were red and swollen. We'd been praying for you Nana. That Sunday we were fasting. I still didn't eat, I couldn't. Eat for what? What did I need food for? I dressed up and went to church like I'd never done before. You didn't need to look at me twice to know that something wasn't right. I sat like a zombie throughout service. I still couldn't hold back the tears (and you know how I hate for people to see me cry). I was broken! Frank spoke to me that day like he never had. He reassured me, gave me hope again. No one knows the whole story even to this day. I don't know how I slept that night. People tried to make me feel better but no one could do the only thing I wanted, bring you back. I know you wanted to come by in the summer. Summer has ended, it was too hot even. It's Autumn now, cool and windy I'm still looking forward to that visit. I still cry. I miss you so much. Call and ask about the weather again. Come back if you can. I love you my brother, my Angel, my rol-model