Paula was born to Anna and Paul (whom she was named after) Smith in Ash Grove, M0. on January 9th, 1939. Her brother Don was born 11 years before her and brother Larry joined the family two years later. The family moved to Hanover KS when she was young so her Father could run the local telephone company. Paula's father passed away from a stroke when she was 11 years old. Paula loved her Father deeply and this was a very painful time for her.
Paula was a good student when young (see spelling bee photo) but in high school her energy and quest to avoid boredom caused school work to take a back seat. Her and her friends loved to drive around the small town pushing over outhouses and tipping cows. She thought it was funny one of her teachers called her a delinquent!
Her Mother, not knowing what to do with her rambunctious daughter, sent her to Springfield MO to live with her aunt at the age of 17.
She immediately got a job at the soda fountain at Heer's Department Store on the square and not soon after she started, a young Drury student, with an equal amount of energy and quick wit, caught her attention. Jim Sivils frequented the soda fountain daily until he convinced Paula to go on a date. They were married 4 months later in 1957.
They soon moved to Kansas City so Jim could attend law school then moved back to Springfield MO where he began his law practice. Paula went to work at a local savings and loan and later in the Probate Court office. She tells story's of the banking tradition of the martini lunch and it was funny every now and then someone would have "tee many martoonies".
Paula really wanted to become a mother and they hoped the day would come for 7 years until January 1st, 1965 yours truly (James Lloyd III) was born. Two years later Daniel Blake joined the family.
Paula was an amazing Mother and gave her sons the gift of unconditional love. She had a special talent for listening with empathy and over time Paula's kitchen table became the Grand Central Station for numerous young people seeking out a little extra "Mothering". I remember clearly one day when I was in 7th grade, answering the door and one of the cutest 7th grade cheerleaders at Pershing was standing there. I was floored, not believing my good fortune when she said "Is your Mother home/"!!! Paula/s kitchen table was always full of our friends who soaked in Paula's unconditional/non-judgmental love.
Paula, had carried some regrets about not getting her high-school diploma so when we were in junior high, she obtained the diploma then went on to college at SMS. She loved being in college and made several really good friends who were 15 years her junior. She graduated with honors 6 years later and went on to obtain her Master in Guidance and Counseling.
Paula took her natural gift that she fine tuned at the kitchen table and became a very successful counselor. Her gift was being able to listen with empathy and knowing right when to ask "how do you feel about that?". Her counseling career spanned 20 years. She was a specialist in eating disorders but really liked to talk to anyone who was struggling. I can't tell you how many people over the years have told me the impact Paula has had on their lives. Some even give Paula credit for still being alive. I can tell those of you that were her patient, she got every bit as much out of those sessions as you did. She loved hearing about peoples feeling and deep thoughts, and was given so much joy as she saw people blossom and come alive.
Paula and Jim became Grandparents in 1994 when precious Ashley came into the world. She was soon joined by her cousin Henry, then her brothers Andy and Ronnie. Paula loved being a Grandmother and until Jim's health started to decline in the early 2000's, they we an awesome Grandparent duo.
Later, Paula kept up a close relationship with her grandchildren We will never forget the wonderful trip we took with her to Germany in 2010 (see photos).
Later in life Jim and Paula parted ways, but they did not lose their love for each other. Paula went on to have some very meaningful relationships that were important to her.
Mom had her stroke in May of 2012. She came to live with Andrea and I, plus all of our kids. That was a special time that allowed the kids to develop a deeper bond with her through numerous one on one conversations, which she treasured.
Even though she was paralyzed on one side, her fierce independent streak convinced us that she was able to live on her own. We moved her to a regular apartment (not assisted living) and she figured out how to take care of all her needs except shopping and transportation, and lived happily and independently for the next five years. Eventually her body gave out and she moved to Maranatha skilled nursing in 2018.
Paula had a strong conviction that happiness was a choice, and she worked everyday at maintaining that attitude. Her favorite book, which i hope you all read, was Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning". I think that is where she formed her deeply held belief that she could choose her thoughts and feelings, and she chose to be positive and happy. So despite being in a Nursing home, in a wheelchair, needing assistance for most all her needs, every time I showed up to visit, she greeted me with a smile. Over the last few weeks many of the nursing staff came in to talk to me and tell me what Paula meant to them. So even in the last stage of her life, she was spreading her optimism and joy and helping others see beauty and joy in the world.
We will miss you Mom!
PS. Please share you memories in the tribute section. Thanks for being a part of Paula's life.
