I am so very blessed and privileged to have been able to spend the last 4 months of Louis's life with him nearly everyday up until the time he was admitted into the hospital for the final time. He was a protector for me my entire life. I foolishly believed he would get better. I was very encouraging and supportive towards that effort as he endured chemotherapy and took his medications. And he kindly let me live in that positive space, all the time knowing his days were numbered. I have since learned that he recieved that prognosis in August 2016. He knew it all the time we were together. He had let many others know it too. But he let me happily skip along anticipating his recovery. I sillily believed that he would be living with the cancer and it would be managed with chemo. He never corrected or discouraged me in my beliefs. Instead he supported them. He looked to the future with me. Protecting me as always. I sincerely appreciate that because it would have been extremely difIicult for me to look at him and think that he was dying. I never thought that. I don't want to have to just live with memories, but I'm forced to. At least I have those. My heart is so broken.
April 15, 2017