I loved you long before you knew. My biggest regret is that we waited for so long for timing to be right so we could started our life together the right way because so soon after I could finally call you mine you were taken from me. Words can't describe how my heart breaks every day from missing you, and knowing emma and rj no longer have the chance to have you there. I know thats what u wanted most in this world
You were the most unique man I've ever met never a dull moment. You mind was as brilliant as the light you shine though you liked to keep that a secret I saw you silently read/study when no one was watching. I know your heart and I felt your love, which was not like any other love I've ever had.
I'm so thankful I was able to spend Christmas with you and as unfair as it is to have only had you in my arms for a short time I'm beyond blessed to have had the time we were given, and will cherish every memory every text,n n every lil side memory our friends have told me me about your pride n beautiful things you said about having me as yours .You started as my roommate then my best friend and became my love. you knew me better than anyone and I believe I knew you the same ( you were right btw news of us being a thing was definitely shock factor for everyone just the way you wanted it to be i just wish you had been here it see it lol #winning)
I still don't understand why your gone nor do I know what happened in your last hours but you told me christmas eve you waited 4 years to long to have me already ( it was only 3 btw ,but that was too cute to correct) so right now I can only hope my prayers are sufficient enough to cover you and that you will wait once again for me on the other side so i can hold you for eternity when my time comes. Because for me happiness was our long phone calls, getting your letters, seeing your determination to do things right, making plans for our home and our future , hearing your laugh, listening to your stories,and laying in your arms watching you shine so proud as you showed me pictures of your lil upgrades who look just like you. That's was heaven to me so I know you will be there waiting for me.
I wish the rest of the world had seen the RJ that I was blessed to have known behind the tuff ( gorgeous) exterior man. I would give anything to have you here with me physically still but I know your near I feel your presence and get your lil messages now and again and it makes me smile thru the tears. I love you my gorgeous gremlin and I will until I can hold you again and for an etarnity after.
Forever yours Cole xoxoxxx