Dear Sabine, over New Year´s eve I spent a week in Scotland and as I know that this is country that you also visited and liked a lot - especially the highlands, I was thinking of you.
It is four years now - but I still memorize many moments we spent together in our professional journey at SAP and the fun we had together. You continue to be present in our minds and hearts, my dear. Best Sigi 

Dear Sabine,
Now, it has been four years, almost to the minute, since we had to part. And I’m missing you every day.
The past year marked our meeting for the first time at university in Tübingen 30 years ago. It also marked our godson Jarin’s confirmation, and you had promised him a trip to London together for this special occasion, years ago.
At first, it felt like a burden, emotionally. I had never been to London without you, and I owe almost all I know about London to you. However, it turned out to be a great and enjoyable journey with a friendly and encouraging companion who kept my spirits high all the time. And, like Uta wrote earlier, you were with us in all the places on memory lane, all the old haunts, and some new discoveries.
We stayed in the Beauchamp next to Russell Square as always, and right next to your bench that I saw for the first time then. Rosa from the Camden Green Spaces team has done a beautiful job in putting it up. It is beautiful to see how the park has developed in the almost 30 years that I’ve known it. And that the bench is very well cared for and actually part of many people’s lives. We spoke to a very nice American gentleman when we first got there who sat on the bench drawing pastels of the park, and a student from Italy who often sits there to read books for her studies. Both were glad to meet someone who had known you because they liked the inscription and were curious to know more about you.
We also visited Lamb’s Conduit Street, of course. You will be sorry to hear that Persephone Books has closed down there – and happy to know that the publisher is still active, online and in Bath now. But you walked with us all the way, so you know.

ꝏ +3,

M

Coming back to London after some time, I wanted to take the opportunity and visit Sabine’s bench in Russell Square. It was a very special experience, and I spent some time sitting there, remembering the good times that we have had. Then, I had a nice encounter with a young mother and her baby joining me on the bench.

She was from Jerusalem studying at the University nearby, and said that she was coming to the park almost every day, and had read the memorial plaques often wondering what the stories behind the person’s names were. So, I shared Sabine’s story with her, and she said that she felt very blessed to finally know a person’s story and meet someone who had known her. What are the chances for that? I think Sabine would have loved that.

The whole journey to England’s South was a special experience for me, and I often felt that Sabine was with me, making comments, we both would laugh about.

Sabine and I always enjoyed walking the London parks and reading the inscriptions on benches commemorating loved ones. And thinking about the people and stories behind the plaques. Our favourite one being a bench in a very quiet angle of Kew Gardens, the dedication reading: "In loving memory of Fiona Neate/ who loved these gardens and came here often/ and of Francis Neate/ who didn't."
The idea to have a bench in London in Sabine’s memory has been some time in the planning now. The question was where to put a bench like this. So many places in London bear significance for us; Lamb’s Conduit Street, St. James’ Park, Frith Street, Sloane Square - memory lane would not stop. But one place has always been there, maybe not the most special of them all, but always there, in all our many visits, ever since we got together in London. Sabine’s former student hall in Cartwright Gardens is close by and so is our favourite pub, the Marquis of Cornwallis, and our favourite book shops, Judd’s books and Penelope Books. There hasn’t been a time when we did not walk though Russell Square. For the past ten years, we have always stayed close in one of the hotels in Bedford Place. And I realized how special Russell Square was to us, after all.
Thanks to the Mayor of London’s office I was quickly put in contact with Camden’s Green Spaces team. The team was instantly very compassionate and supportive, and with their kind help, Sabine’s bench has been installed last week. No red tape, no bureaucracy, even in times of COVID and after Brexit. Thank you, Camden Green Spaces team.
If you are looking for the bench, it is close to the entrance facing Bedford Place, right behind the Duke of Bedford’s monument.

Lost for words a year after the darkest day

A year ago today, Sabine and I were standing on deck of a ferry, leaving Corsica after a perfect fortnight's holiday. Sabine had been feeling a lot better. I will be eternally grateful that we went on, what would turn out to be, our last holiday together. We covered the whole island North to South and gathered unforgettable and blissful memories that I cherish in these heart-rending times. Thank you, my love, for all the moments we shared. None will be forgotten. Ever.

Sabine was my best friend - for nearly 30 years now - therefore I probably do not have to explain how dreadfully I miss her.
I always pictured us in the future, old and grey, sitting on a bench in the sushine with a good cup of coffee, chatting and laughing, telling each other everything which happend during the last couples of weeks, remembering all the wonderful times we shared. That is what we always did. And we loved it.
I came across a little quote which made me smile and I think Sabine would have liked it too:
"I hope we will be friends until we die. And then, I hope, we will be ghost friends, walk through walls and scare the shit out of people."
You will probably find us in an old English castle, so beware, we always had the best ideas when we were together.

Marc asked me to post my part of the mourning ceremony. Sorry, it is in German.
Einige Worte für die Trauerfeier
Es klingt vielleicht seltsam, aber ich kann mich wirklich nicht mehr daran erinnern, wann ich Sabine zum ersten Mal begegnet bin und wie wir Freundinnen geworden sind. Es war einfach schon immer so.
Ich erinnere mich aber, dass ich alles, was danach kam, mit ihr geteilt habe. Die schönsten Momente – und die schwierigsten. Sabine war immer für mich da. Sie hat sich mit mir gefreut, mit mir gelacht und mir die Hand gehalten, wenn es nötig war.
Das macht eine gute Freundin aus. Sabine war aber viel mehr als eine gute Freundin – sie war die Beste!

Wir haben ein halbes Leben miteinander geteilt und mochten dieselben Dinge. Oft habe ich mein neuestes Lieblingsbuch in Ihrem Bücherregal entdeckt. Manchmal habe ich sie begrüßt und wir hatten den gleichen Pulli an.
Und gerade, weil ich sie so gut gekannt habe, weiß ich, dass sie sich gefreut hätte, wie viele Freunde, Verwandte und Kollegen heute hier sind. Es hätte sie sehr glücklich gemacht.
Und ich weiß auch, dass sie gewollt hätte, dass wir uns mit einem Lächeln an sie erinnern und an die schönen Zeiten denken, die wir zusammen verbracht haben. Daher möchte ich euch in paar Fragen stellen.

Wisst ihr noch, wie wundervoll es war, bei ihr zu Gast zu sein? Mit wie viel Liebe und stilsicherem Geschmack alles vorbereitet war? Sie hatte die besondere Gabe, dass sich Menschen bei ihr wohl und aufgehoben fühlten.
Wisst ihr noch, wie es war, von ihr ein Geschenk zu bekommen? Nicht nur, dass sie immer großzügig war, nein, sie hat genau gewusst, womit sie jedem von uns eine Freude machen konnte.
Wisst ihr noch, wie mutig und stark sie war? Sie hat immer für ihre Überzeugungen und ihre Träume gekämpft. Und wenn ich gezweifelt habe, hat sie sich sogar darum gekümmert, dass meine Träume wahr werden konnten.
Und hey, wer hat eigentlich je mal mit ihr gespielt? Ich meine Brettspiele und so? Dann könnt ihr mir gerne mal erzählen, wie ihr es ausgehalten habt, dass sie einem immer einen Zug voraus war …

Es gibt unzählige kleine Dinge und schöne Erlebnisse, an die ich mich erinnern darf. So ist sie immer noch ein bisschen bei mir und geht den Weg weiter mit mir mit. Und ich glaube auch, um mich zu trösten, hätte sie folgendes zu mir gesagt:

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep,
I am the thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glint on snow,

I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain,
I am the shining star at night,
When you awake to the morning light.

My time has come, I am at rest,
I am the sunset in the west,
I am the clouds that race above,
Where I watch over those I love.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I do not die,
So hear these words that here I say,
I am the love that guides your way.
(original text Mary Frye)

I can't put it into words how much the death of Sabine touches me and can hardly imagine how painful the loss is for her husband Marc and her family. Sabine was so much more than just a wonderful colleague. She was one of the warmest, kindest and most affectionate people I have ever worked with or met. I can still hear her open and happy laughter, when we had chat about our vacations, about the plans we had at the time and many more things.
We first met in person only a few years ago, when we both worked together on a project and stayed in touch ever since. She was just this kind of person, that would never let you down, always finding a way or a solution, always going the extra mile and regardless how difficult things could become, she would just take it with a smile and tell you not to worry. It was such a pleasure to work with her and even a bigger pleasure to know her.
I wish I could have spent more time with her and got to know her even better. I will remember her forever in a loving way.

Sabine, you are deeply missed!

The first time I met Sabine was in London in 1996.  My daughter Emma, was going to study at UCL and my husband and I were going with her to see her hall of residence.  We arrived at the hall and were given a key to her room.  The room was up several floors and in the front of the building, overlooking the tennis courts.  Whilst we were carrying bags and computers into the room, a friendly voice, said "hello" and Sabine came into the room.  She smiled and introduced herself and I remember after leaving them, feeling pleased that Emma had already made one friend.  This turned out to be very true as Emma and Sabine were close friends from then onwards.

When I think of Sabine, I think of her smile and her kindness.  I will never forget the kindness both Sabine and Marc showed during a family tragedy and how instinctively they knew what to say and what to do at a very difficult time for our family.  I also remember them sharing the joy of Emma and Luca's wedding and the births of their beautiful boys.  

Other happy memories are the day that Marc and Sabine had a lift from the pub back to Cambridge in my son's ex-military Defender and the way despite her high heels, Sabine elegantly stepped up into the passenger seat.  Marc climbed into the back.... 

Today, quite unexpectedly, I found another beautiful memory. In a briefcase, I found my boarding card to the ferry that brought us from Rotterdam to Hull for our honeymoon in Scotland

In 2018, I gave Sabine tickets for a Van Morrison concert for her birthday. It was an incredibly hot summer, the concert was open-air and seated - which we found odd. After waiting for two hours in the seething Kurpfalz heat, Sir Van came on stage, the concert was brilliant and the heat forgotten then.

We were still struggling with sitting while listening to his music, though. 

When Sabine heard the first notes of "Bright Side of the Road", my beloved wife jumped up with the words: "I have been sitting long enough - now I will dance!" And she did. I followed a little later and it is another wonderful memory, dancing with her in front of the stage on this summer evening.