May Subhi Ghandour's soul rest in peace, and may his legacy continue to inspire all who knew him.
Ibrahim H Alsaeed

40-Day Memorial Speech by Laura Ghandour
(December 1, 2023, Vienna, Virginia) 

Bismillah Alrahman Alraheem, In the name of God, the most Gracious, the most merciful.

Hello everybody – I would like to thank all of you for coming today to show your love and respect for Sobhi and to share your condolences with me and our family. We have been comforted by the outpouring of love and care.
And I would really like to thank everyone in the family for your amazing love and support throughout this time. Thank you for being here today and for always being there for me. Special thanks the Dorn clan who flew in from Minnesota and Maine and Massachusetts and Florida to be here, and to the Hijazi and Tucker families for all your TLC. Sobhi loved all of you so much, and I am so blessed to call all of you my family.
I would also like thank the Vienna Community Center for graciously providing this space tonight and for all the help they provided with the many many events Sobhi hosted here over the years. You have always been wonderful to us, and we appreciate it immensely.
Finally, a special thank you to the members of the committee who put this memorial event together. I appreciate all of your hard work and generosity and time – Mohamed Said Al-Ouafe, Reem Khaldi, Bassem Yamak, Said Arikat, Omar Khaldieh, Mohamad Al-Arabi, Mohammed El-Shinnawi. You’ve made Sobhi proud.
To my deep regret, I never learned to speak Arabic. Because of that, despite how close Sobhi and I were, I know that there are big parts of his life and thought that I don’t fully comprehend. I appreciate that our speakers tonight can talk about those sides of Sobhi – they deserve to be shared. 
I would like to talk about Sobhi the man and my husband and our adventures with Al-Hewar Center.
Sobhi and I got married on August 18, 1988 – only two and a half months after our first date. We had an instant connection – we shared similar values, and a similar sense of humor, and we knew almost immediately that we were soul mates. When he asked me to marry him, I thought, what the heck, whatever happens, the ride will be worth it because he is such a wonderful person. And now, 35 years later, despite the tremendous pain of losing him, I can say unequivocally that the ride was amazing. He was a kind and generous husband and my best friend, and we always had each other’s backs. I am deeply blessed to have had him in my life, and I think many of you feel the same way. 
Sobhi and I started Al-Hewar Magazine featuring the Arab-American Dialogue in early 1989. It was a daring feat – as so many of Sobhi’s undertakings were. I was making about $18,000 a year at my job, and Sobhi had just left another start-up publication. So basically we were broke. I was very green, but willing, and Sobhi showed me the ropes. He had been a journalist since he was 16 years old, and by the time we met, he had helped numerous publications get off the ground. Through his sheer force of will plus some outside encouragement, including early subscriber Mr. Ibrahim El-Hibri, plus many many late nights, we managed to churn out issue after issue of Al-Hewar Magazine for 20 years. Sobhi was tireless about taking copies to hotel newsstands, bookstores, grocery stores, embassies, organizations, receptions, and anywhere else he could spread the word and develop a subscriber base.
The late, great Dr. Clovis Maksoud loved to share the story about how Sobhi hand-delivered the magazine to his house once -- right after a big blizzard in Washington -- on a day when even the post office and the Washington Post weren’t making deliveries. I was with Sobhi that day in our little stick-shift Honda Accord as he drove all over Washington, up and down icy, hilly, snow-covered roads to deliver the magazine. We had a few scares, but he was an excellent driver, and we got all of the issues delivered – mostly to places that were closed due to the blizzard! At least they had a surprise waiting for them the following day!
I think Clovis loved sharing that story because it encapsulated Sobhi so perfectly. He had talent and determination and he never gave up if he truly believed in what he was doing.
Five years after we founded the magazine, and after laying the groundwork with a series of meetings at IIIT headquarters with Arab community leaders, Sobhi started Al-Hewar Center because he wanted to bring people from all backgrounds together to really talk to each other. He believed in dialogue as the best way to solve problems. He established his principles of respectful dialogue and equal speaking opportunity before we even opened the doors of our first location in Vienna. Our first event took place in December 1994, right after another blizzard, I might add. We were moving in furniture during a snowstorm.
Nothing like Al-Hewar Center had ever been done, and people thought he was crazy and that it would never work, but Sobhi always had a very clear vision of what he wanted to achieve and what was possible. He also looked for the very best in people. In the early days, some attendees wanted to argue and shout and monopolize the time, but Sobhi persistently appealed to their better natures, and eventually got people to understand that it was okay to have different opinions, and it was okay to disagree with each other, as long as everyone had a chance to speak – and be heard -- and as long as the conversation remained respectful and moved the dialogue forward. He was a master host, often using his gentle sense of humor to defuse tense situations, and he always asked insightful questions and did his best to steer the conversations in a positive direction. Sobhi’s dream with Al-Hewar Center was to help unify the Arab World, beginning with the diverse Arab-American Community, so that they could reach consensus on important matters and ultimately control their own destinies. As we know, Sobhi and the entire Arab world, were up against much more potent plans and powers, and things have not really gone the way we hoped, especially after 9/11, which threw everything, everywhere, off its axis. The hurdles for the community became much higher that day, but Sobhi persisted until the end, and the community continues the struggle against ignorance, injustice, racism, and discrimination.
Sobhi and I finally became tired of blizzards, so we moved to Florida in 2017 to fulfill a long-time dream of living in a warmer place. Without missing a beat, Sobhi transferred Al-Hewar Center into a weekly online meeting via Zoom. This opened the Center discussions up to a whole new audience of people from overseas, allowing what he called the “style of dialogue” to spread to many more people and countries. Of course, this was especially fortuitous during COVID, when Al-Hewar Center continued seamlessly and even grew as on-line meetings became a lifeline for so many people during that time.
Sobhi hosted over 1,200 Al-Hewar Center events since it opened 29 years ago. We are grateful to the amazing retinue of speakers that we had the privilege to welcome over the years, from writers, journalists, and academics, to diplomats and activists, to religious and faith leaders, to strong women and eager youth, to everything in between. We have been inspired by your experience and knowledge.
Many people have mentioned to me how generous Sobhi was. It was one of his hallmark traits. I know this from first-hand experience of course. But I also wanted to share a little illustration. Every week or two for the many years that we lived in Virginia, Sobhi would go to downtown Washington DC and order 100 cheeseburgers from McDonald’s and take them, with cases of water, to the Community for Creative Non-Violence – the largest homeless shelter in the city. People would see his car and start lining up to receive their meal. True to his nature, he got them to line up in an orderly fashion because he wanted to make sure each person got a sandwich before anyone got seconds. The people at the shelter were always happy to see him, and they nicknamed him “Mr. Cheeseburger”. Nothing made Sobhi happier than giving to others – be it family members or friends or hungry strangers.
Since Sobhi passed away, I’ve been looking at a lot of photographs. The thing that I notice the most is that there is always a bright light shining in his eyes. He was so passionate about his work, so full of curiosity about everyone and everything, and he cared deeply about his family and his friends. He was full of life and gave all of his life and his energy to making things better for the people around him and for his wide circle of colleagues and acquaintances, for his adopted country of America, for his beloved Lebanon, and for the greater Arab World. The recent unfortunate events began in Palestine shortly before Sobhi passed, and to his chagrin he was too weak to write articles or give interviews about it. Throughout his life, he remained a true and dedicated advocate for the Palestinians and their right to live free, and many people were surprised that he was not speaking out on the subject. He had not told many people about his illness because he never wanted pity and he wanted to keep working and living his life until he no longer could. And that is what happened.
I had to put him in the hospital on a Wednesday morning, and he rang for the nurses every five minutes for 3 days pleading for them to let him go home because he wanted so desperately to host his Al Hewar Center event that Friday. The event had already been arranged and was to be a discussion about the situation in Gaza. On Friday, he had me run home and get his laptop so he could run the event from his hospital bed. We got the Zoom meeting all set up, but the hospital was just too noisy to hold the event. All of the meeting attendees agreed that we could and should have the event the next day at the same time. 
Sobhi was released from the hospital that evening into Hospice so I could take care of him at home, and he did, indeed, host the Al-Hewar Center event the next day. He gave a brief introduction and you could hear how weak he was. That was followed by an excellent presentation by Said Arikat and a good audience discussion. We recorded the event and posted it alongside the many other Center meeting recordings on our YouTube site. Sobhi knew it would be his last event, and I know he felt proud that, fittingly, it was an event to support the Palestinian people. 
During his last week on earth, I took care of him the best that I could. His nephew, Yasser Hijazi, made the long drive up from Miami every single day to visit his uncle and to help however he could. He brought us food, took Sobhi for walks in his wheelchair, prayed with him and for him, and gave him every manner of loving care. Yasser continues to check in on me and my Mom regularly. Yasser – we are forever grateful for your help and care during that time and now. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. 
In addition, Yasser’s wife, Carla, came and spent a week with me after Sobhi passed. Carla – thank you for your tender loving care – you kept me calm and helped me find a bit of peace during the worst time of my life. You are a wonderful and cherished friend.
And a special thanks to my Mom, who lives around the corner from me – you have given me so much love and a soft place to land. I cherish your advice, understanding and loving care. Now we know why God guided you to move to Florida.
I understand that there have been numerous tributes and memorials for Sobhi both in the states, and in Lebanon, and for that I am truly grateful. He was a special man who gave everything he had to help make things better for others. It warms my heart to see the love and respect that he garnered from around the world.
Sobhi’s family in Lebanon asked me to thank all of you for being here today and to tell you that Sobhi is missed by the entire family and will be missed as long as we live, yet he remains vividly present in our minds and souls. He also will be remembered because of the great body of work that he leaves behind. His values and principles and dedication will be recognized and cherished always, and we are and will always be so proud that he is a very very dear member of our family.
As for myself, I am very proud to be Sobhi’s wife and helpmate. He was a blessing in my life, and I know he helped me to become a better person. We will all miss his love and intelligence, his wonderful sense of humor, his indomitable spirit, his occasional stubbornness, his constant generosity. He helped many people in many ways, and touched innumerable lives. Sobhi, we will remember you and your great spirit forever. God bless your soul.
And may God bless all of you. Thank you.

يفارقنا الأحبة يوماً بعد يوم، فأيها الموت رفقاً فقلوبنا أثقلتها الأحزان. وداعاً أيها الأخ العروبي المناضل كنت لنا خير سند في أحلك الظروف. رحمك الله و غفر لك. عام رحل عنا فيه الكثير من الأحبة . كنت أسعد دائماً بالمشاركة في نداوتكم الأسبوعية ، حتى حال الموت حين غيب أعز ما أملك ، حتى عاد فغيبكم ... رحمكم الله أخي صبحي سنفتقد أن ننهل من رؤياكم وتحاليلكم ... و لكم سيدتي طول البقاء