Fellow Travelers
Fellow Travelers
Stefanie was one of my oldest and dearest friends. We had the good fortune to do a lot of traveling together. We spent the better part of 1997 traveling to Japan, Southeast Asia, and India. This year of traveling together was the foundation of a long and beautiful friendship, and I’d like to share some of my favorite memories of traveling days with Stef (photos soon to follow).
I first met Stefanie at the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. She was beautiful and bohemian, with a dancer’s grace and penetrating dark eyes. We had a couple of classes together in Alabama - Asian Art and History of Oriental Thought. Then we were roommates during an exchange program in Japan, and that’s when we became good friends. Stef was the best roommate, and we had a lot of fun rooming together. She was one of the coolest people I’d ever met, with a gift for also making things warm and fun. Together we created a great space out of our tiny dorm room. Friends would stop by our room in the evenings and we’d make a pot of tea and chat the night away - lounging on tatami mats, twinkle lights hung on the walls giving the room an ambient yellow glow. I look back on this time fondly - the world seemed open and full of possibility.
While students in Japan, Stef and I also worked in a Karaoke club together. We used the money we made working in the Karaoke club to save up for our next big trip – backpacking through Southeast Asia and India. We finished our semester in Japan and then commenced our backpacking adventure. We started in Bali, making our way through Indonesia, Malaysia, India, and Thailand. We covered many miles – traveling by automobile, train, plane, bus, boat, jeep, rickshaw, even camel. We had lots of adventures, and met many beautiful people along the way. So many wonderful memories...
Stepping off the plane in Bali I remember the entire island smelled like cloves…I remember Stefanie taking dance classes in Bali - I can still see her practicing those distinct angular Balinese eye movements and hand gestures…Stef and I taking drum classes in Bali, and me getting in a scooter accident and being very late to our drum class…A special memory of us renting a white jeep in Bali - driving all around the island interior, listening to bootleg U2 and Cowboy Junkies cassettes we got from a street vendor - stopping in the middle of an empty road, struck by the immense beauty all around us - the terraced rice fields - lush and emerald green - surrounded by mountains at sunset…women working in the fields with their children – waving to us…The hidden gem, inland artist area of Bali, called Ubud, and all its charms – “cottage industry” arts and crafts that Stef loved (I remember not knowing what that term meant at the time, but Stef enlightened me on this and other things)… the mischievous monkeys at the Sacred Monkey Forest Sanctuary, and how they tried to hold our belongings hostage in exchange for bananas…seeing the Mahabharata (ancient Indian epic poem) performed at an open-air-amphitheater at Ubud Palace…The island of Java…and visiting the mountain of a thousand Buddha statues and pathway to enlightenment - Borubodur…Going to an all-night performance of Wayang Kulit (shadow puppet theater) and how captivated Stefanie was with it…Hammock naps on a secluded beach after snorkeling the emerald green waters off the coast of Malaysia. I remember being scared to snorkel the deep waters (I was afraid of sharks), but Stefanie kept encouraging me. Pushing past my fear, I was rewarded and delighted to discover how much life was beneath the waves – I remember sea turtles and a school of giant Bump-head Parrot fish swimming past me, and how grateful I was that Stef had pushed me out of my comfort zone (she did that very well). We had taken a boat to get there – a remote island getaway – no electricity and only a few cabanas. In the evenings, we’d all get together - singing, playing guitar and grilling freshly caught fish on the beach…this place was special to us too. And then, India - beloved India. We serendipitously met the most delightful family in Pondicherry. There was a Vedic astrologer in Pondicherry that I’d wanted to visit. We finally found his place but alas no one was there. Since we’d traveled so far, we decided to wait for him to return. The family next door took notice of us and generously invited us into their home for a cool drink and a cool place to wait for him. I remember them inviting us back to their home for dinner and how we dined with them like we were one of the family. Sitting cross-legged on the floor, we enjoyed homemade Thali-Indian dinner that we ate with our hands off of banana leaf plates. Their son, Ashok, showed us all around Pondicherry, and attentively cared for Stefanie when she got sick from the side effects of malaria medication (he was a medical student). Pondicherry held a special place in our hearts. I remember years later, when the movie Life of Pi came out (2012, set in Pondicherry) - how excited Stefanie was for me to see it – and how much it reminded us of our time there. After Pondicherry, making our way northwest, I remember the monumental rock cut caves of Ellora and Ajanta...and the bittersweet, white marble teardrop-shaped memorial to love - the Taj Mahal…And then I remember our camel safari in the Thar Desert in Rajasthan. The too-late realization of how excruciatingly painful camel-riding for days in the desert would be, was made up for by a boundless desert landscape by day, and indescribably beautiful star gazing from the sand dunes at night - with stars and constellations so bright and close you think you can reach out and touch them. After the camel safari, we went to New Delhi to catch our flights to Bangkok. Bangkok was bittersweet because that’s where we finally decided to conclude our travels. We spent a week or so in Bangkok and then flew home. Stef had decided to continue living in Japan after our trip, so she flew back to Japan, and I flew back to the US. Saying goodbye was hard. I remember tear-filled goodbyes at the end our trip… me waving from the back of a taxi to Stef, who was waving to me with tears in her eyes…We had spent almost an entire year traveling together. You really get to know a person when you’re with them day in and day out for that long, and we became very close. The traveling we did together was a once in a lifetime experience, and I’m so grateful to Stef because it was mostly her idea and she included me.
After our big trip, we saw each other as often as we could - as often as time and circumstance permitted. We saw each other in Alabama, then I went to see her in LA while she was a graduate student at UCLA. Stef also came to visit me while I was living in Atlanta, and it was during one of those trips that I got to meet Austin for the first time. I was delighted to spend Thanksgiving 2006 with Stef, her mom, and Austin, while Stef was teaching at SUNY Potsdam. In 2009, Stef and I decided it was high time we did some more traveling together, and we had fun figuring out where we’d go. I remember having the globe out and spinning it as we pondered our next adventure – we decided on Europe. We went to the Netherlands, Belgium, France, and Germany, kicking off our trip with a concert – U2 in Amsterdam! I’m really happy we were able to spend this time together. In 2013 Stef came to see me after I moved to Florida. We made a road trip to the Keys, all the way down to Key West, and I’m so grateful we were able to have one last traveling adventure together. I’m also very grateful to have been able to make a trip to LA this past April to see Stef, and Austin again, and to finally get to meet Edgar.
