Taiwo Olusa was a creative, in fact that’s what he did for a living. He would take a gloomy space and turn it into a beautiful place. He knew how to maximise spaces; he was particularly good at that. He took the space you gave him in your heart, no matter how small and maximised it with lovely experiences that endeared you to him. The two minute phone call just to check on you, the one minute stop on the road to give you a hug, the two minute chase on the road to catchup with you and say a word, crack a quick joke and give you a hearty cheer! Taiwo was like that. T-boy as I used to call him was like that; He was full of life!
A passionate conversationalist, he was skilled in the art of meaningful interactions. He was introspective, attentive and when he would speak, he would carefully choose his words and left you to fill the spaces and then exclaim ‘exactly!’ or chorus the ending with you. It made the time you spent with him worth it. He was such a good sport! So friendly, he had a hearty giggle and then he would draw that long exclamation that made you feel your joke had hit home. He was tall but never made you feel short. He’d been using the appellation ‘Bro’ long before it became the fad and he meant the word.
The Olusas were four brothers and one sister but Taiwo added to their family, a hundred more siblings. There are so many much more of us that could lay some legitimate claim to being ‘Taiwo’s brother’ because he was that magnanimous. He gave you a part of his heart, he had your back, he was present, he would make time when you called on him. When my family had to move houses and I was in far away Sydney, Taiwo helped them move, organised the movers and did it with contagious excitement like a blood brother would do. When I wanted to remodel my office and needed to brainstorm and bounce ideas , he gladly showed up. He was present when you needed him to be present. It made him dependable.
Taiwo was a sponge, in his presence you felt free to share your dreams and ideas and because he paid genuine attention, he could draw out the dreams from the recesses of your mind and help you articulate them. Any entrepreneur would understand what I am talking about... dream enablers are usually in short supply, people who could listen to your crazy ideas without prejudice are hard to find. Taiwo was that for me and he also made you responsible, like when he told me that, in some way, I had inspired him to become an entrepreneur. I shuddered; I didn't like the responsibility but he wouldn't spare me anyways. Taiwo, implicitly, believed in people.
Taiwo’s greatest gift was respect! It was a type of respect that inspired dignity in others. He applied it across all spheres of interaction. At school(then in U.I), at work, at home. You could see it at his home, in his interactions with his wonderful son Seni and his beautiful, loving wife Shola. It was a respect that nurtured relationships, a respect that nurtured the best in people. It was the most creative thing about him. It was a skill. Taiwo lived a life of respect. All you had to do was observe his dealings with the artisan and watch the artisan blosom with dignity that made him rise to the occasion and demand excellence from himself in order to justify the respect that Taiwo had accorded him. Taiwo in his everyday life justified that there was some good in people and all you had to do was nuture it with respect.
Taiwo was real. It was a flavour of Ibadan, that ancient city in which we all grew up. It was essentially the difference between growing up in Ibadan and many other cities in Nigeria. What you saw,was what you got. Awon ara Ibadan didn't see any reasons to add any airs. To describe the prevalent attitudes from Nigerians sometimes, let me borrow a quote from my friend Shade Ezeokoli as she quotes Steve Olson -
“We hide behind a facade that we think others expect, or that would find us favor.....while the whole world longs for anything that resembles authentic. In the process, we box ourselves inside self-created walls that restrict us from being the free and unique person that we were created to be....In His image. Authenticity is attractive and contagious”
Realness was a flavour of Ibadan, and even then, Taiwo’s realness was quintessential. His authenticity was attractive and contagious.
About fourteen years ago, I worked with a General at the Dodan Barracks Hospital. A military surgeon whose manner was so graceful that he could correct you on the operating table and the next practitioner wouldn't notice. I remember telling my Father during our catch up conversations about my notable experiences with that General. My father said to me that - “Sometimes, exceptional people like that are just born that way.” Taiwo was born like that.... An extraordinary ‘Omoluabi’.....‘Gentleman Extraordinare!’ He was just like that.... just a real kind hearted soul as my wife, Abimbola, would describe him.
I am not the type that calls you to just check on you, that was Taiwo’s style. He would call once in a while and in that deep bass voice timbre, he would start out with- “Egbon, how are you?” He was just checking up on me. Checking up on people, was not my style (did Ara even have a style?) but I remember the last time I spoke with Taiwo, I had finally copped his style. That was what had happened! I was calling to check on him and then afterwards, I called Deji Akinniranye, just checking on Deji too...and it felt good. Taiwo had won; he had infected me with his habit. That’s the effect great people have on you ...they make you a better version of yourself.
My heart goes out to the lovely Olusa family that gave a gift called Taiwo to the world. My gratitude to Shola and Seni who shared their most precious and priceless jewel with us...And of course, Kehinde, who shared her twin with all of us. We are the better for knowing Taiwo. I know this must be difficult and painful, I only trust the Comforter to comfort you all, still your pains and replenish your strength and joy.
T-Boy, I already miss you. I am holding on to the beautiful memories of my interactions with you, hoping they would suffice. I am sure you must have witnessed Abimbola and also Peter Ayasi, another egbon of yours, weeping like children when they called me yesterday. It is because you are the best. I find it difficult to use the word death when it comes to you, I feel so strongly that it doesn't befit you because you are larger than life so I only say you passed on when I talk about your transition. You are a wonderful Soul and I am grateful for knowing you. I take comfort knowing I’ll see you again when our beneficient time keeper (Ọlọjọ) blows the whistle on this side.
