My mother, Mami, loved her. It took me a while to inform Mami her friend Oby had passed, as I was reluctant to break the news to her. You can imagine her expression and her state of mind when she learnt the sad news. Mami met Oby a few years ago when we went to Enugu for the wedding of one of Oby’s children. Mami became enamored of her, for her kindness and warmth and the special attention given her. She saw Oby as the facilitator of her visit to South East Nigeria, a part of the country she had heard much about but never visited from her town of Zaria in northern Nigeria, where she had lived for over 40 years. Mami would often ask after Aunty Oby and say when are we going to Enugu again and I would tease her with a reply, your friend has not yet invited us for another wedding..
And that is who Oby Nwankwo was- in many ways - a bridge maker and activator. A gracious, winning soul. We are told always to be good, to do good, to put others first, and to keep our ego tucked away, to engender a sense of community and embrace the spiritual. As we mature and grow in physical stature and wealth that currency becomes more scarce. Oby however had those in abundance. It was as if the greater the height she attained, the more simple and kind and humane she remained – and became.
Oby took pride in the right things; her work, speaking out, standing by and with and if need be marching with the voiceless. She lent voice to issues that could open the door further ajar for our daughters, our sons, our communities, seeking to erase discrimination, seeking equality in likely and unlikely places.
Oby did all these calmly, unobtrusively but you could not miss her in the room. Beautiful and full of personality. Her voice was quiet and soft not because she didn’t know what to say or how to shout. She shouted loudest at her most quiet.
Oby was / is genuine. What you saw what all she was about. She didn’t seek attention, talk about herself and what she had achieved. I remember talking to her at the start of her campaign for the UN CEDAW chair,
I said: sis we will need to profile you a bit o. She said something like: Ok my sister we will try…
When are we going to another event in Enugu? Mami, I don’t know. Nme m, your friend passed..
Dear God grant; Oby eternal rest, her family and friends the fortitude to bear the loss and to protect her legacy.
Amina Salihu
Jan 15 2018
Abuja